My Resolutions

Tomorrow is the last day of the year and am wondering if anyone of you guys making any resolution for the next year like I normally did. But the thing is, I was never succeed to make them happened. I remembered last year on new year's eve I said to myself that I have to make a big move in the coming year, like for example write a book, as it wasn't a secret anymore that my passion was to become an author. But instead of making it happened, I was having a breakdown that no one would believe. The year of 2010 was the year that I will remember in my entire life. So many things happened drove me to an amazing experience that taught me many values in life.

And now that the year is nearly over, I was like thinking, should I make another resolution for the coming year or should I just continuing pursue my un-achieved dream from this year? Thing is, my turbulence life in 2010 has been giving me a roller coaster ride which even until today still confuse me in seeing which one is real and which one is surreal. I even thought that am having a bipolar disorder at one point. It was the feeling that you have got on rodeo day where everything seemed to come toward you from every direction. So confusing. That is why actually I didn't even try to obtain my resolution as I have trouble myself in realizing all the things that happened in my life. Started when I lost my lovely dog Macallan who had been with me for the past 8 years, then the lost of my 2 cats whom suddenly went missing from my new place, the lost of some great opportunities in business, having accused by someone as a boyfriend stealer, and made some stupid decisions on choosing friends which cost me so many damages. All of those topped with the crumbled of my long term relationship which I thought was going to last forever but turned out it wasn't that special after all. Toward the end of the year things were getting worse and worse when my dear beloved mother had a heart attack. My self consciousness was blaming myself for that as at some point I do believe that she was having it over her stressed concerning me and my problems. I was never going to be able to forgive myself for that. So yeah, 2010 was a tough year for me. Guess God was having fun with me a bit, you know, testing me and my patience? Pushing me to the edge and see how long can I hanging there? And guess what, am still there! How did I do that? I have no idea whatsoever. Even me surprised myself after everything that I had been through, I was still here. Never consider myself as a tough chick after all. Whoa!!

So what is my resolution for the next year? Mm, let me think about it first. I won't say that I hope the coming year will be better than this year because I know for sure that it will be. I mean..come on, what the worst that could happens after all that I had been through? I'd been down there on the rock bottom of disastrous already. I don't think there's anything would topped that. So yeah, if I still have to make a resolution at the end, then let say that I will continue writing and this time I will seriously try my luck on this matter. Hey, am not getting any younger and I might lose my passion someday, so while I still have it, I've got to use it to the max, right? The thing is, either my write wasn't interesting enough to attract people to read them and leaves some comments or people just don't read anymore nowadays, but the fact is I didn't get enough critics to perfection my writes and it kind of worry me, you know..in case if nobody likes my writes kind of thing. An author needs readers because you can not claim yourself as an author if no one reads your works, it's impossible! So yeah, maybe my first goal next year is to gain more and more readers to become my followers first, while of course, continue writing. They said practice makes perfect, remember? Hopefully my dream to become an author will come true in anytime soon. Amen to that.

^_^

To all of my dear friends, happy new year! Life's tough, my friends..but we're tougher..xoxo

Garuda Di Dadaku (Garuda On My Chest)

Alright, I promise you that this is going to be my last football talk of the year. I know, the euphoria is gone already after the referee blow the whistle and Indonesia beat Malaysia 2 to 1 but in contradictory situation, that wasn't good enough for us to bring to trophy home. In aggregate, we lost 2 to 4 after in the first leg they beat us 3-0. What a heart breaking night for all of the players who fight so bad during the 90 minutes game! After six wins and one dramatic loss, we only finished as a runner up. But, as captain Bambang Pamungkas said, that's football.

So, what went wrong? Mm, I don't even know where to start. Okay, let me first talk about the different between the battle for your country and the battle for your club. Here's the thing, I've been watching football since I was a little girl back then for the Mexican World Cup 1986 when Maradona with his hand of God brought Argentina as a world champion. And believe it or not, even though I was just a kid who you'd probably never even bother asked for opinion, but I did pay my attention and done some observation here and there during the competition. And that was actually helped me a little in understanding the emotion behind every game. When you play for your country, it is more like you are going to a war to safe the dignity of your nation. It's so much more attachments in there. You will find yourself a little over emotional in this matter. While playing for your club is more like an obligation to them as they are paying you to play so. There was no different with everyone else doing their daily job to make life, do you know what am saying? It's more like a job rather than a prestige. In the other hand, playing for your country is a prestigious thing. That is why, if you read my last blog about football, I mention about how we need our own leader in the field and that is why I insisted Riedl to put BP for the first 45 minutes of the game. Oh no, I wouldn't try to say that Gonzalez wasn't good enough, but, in an important game like the one tonight, the skills and capabilities were suddenly became a secondary factor but the pride of fighting for the country was a primary one. Don't get me wrong, I knew that all of our naturalization players said that they considered Indonesia as their country now, but still, it was never the same. Ever. Let's not close our eyes to the fact that most of foreign footballers who played in our country were from poor countries which, for some reasons, great in football. So if they stayed in their countries and became a footballer there, first of all they might ended up jobless as the competitors over there are way better and more than in here. Second of all, if they stayed in their countries and signed up for their local clubs they won't get paid as good as they are here, come on..Uruguay? Seriously? Is there even any club or league in that country? Never heard of it! I know for sure at this point I have to be careful whenever I go out at night, as someone might put a hit list on me because of what I said here, but think about it first. I mean, open your eyes widely. Do you, in your deepest heart, believe that someone who just lived in a country for the past five years and happens to marriage one of the local chicks, would have the same feeling and love to that country with someone who was born and raised in that country where their parents, their grandparents and great-great grandparents before them also raised and born? I don't think so. Plus, not to mention the effect of those Garuda logo on their t-shirts that needs a pure blood to even feel it.

Alrighty, I will be gentle here, I know that one of our naturalization players has half Indonesian blood and his father was once a great footballer in this country, so I think am gonna let him getaway here. Am not going to attack him as he is kind of cute himself, ha! And don't get me wrong, by saying all of those words above, I never meant to attack anyone in particular, oh..apart from Alfred Riedl, maybe. But my point is, when you play for your country you need a leader who has all of those emotional attachments to push you to the max. That is why we need a cool dude like Bambang in this situation. True that we do have a good captain, Firman Utina, but he was just not that ready yet. It proved by his failure to executed the penalty on 17th minute which could be a turning point for our team. I knew that in his defense, Utina said that he didn't have any pressure when took that penalty, it was pure his honest decision to do so and Malaysian goalkeeper happened to read his move and that was so common in football. Well said, Utina..but who do you try to fool? I mean, I played football with my sister and my cousins when we were kids and even back then I felt a tension and pressure whenever we played. And we didn't even play for anything, just for the sake of paying it. The fact that as humans, we tend to compete with others. Our nature makes us want to be the best amongst our kind and that was so normal. So Utina, knock it off, dude!

So, what went wrong again? Everything! I bet it would've been a different story if Riedl put BP instead of Gonzalez on first half. He would've scored the penalty which built the team confidence and we would've finished the first half with 3-0 and come back for the second half with Gonzalez in and would've finished the game with 5-1 and won the title. Also, Utina would've won his Most Valuable Player title with clean record, without any stain and everyone would've came home with a big smile on their faces thinking about the bonuses that they were going to get, ha! What an happy ending! I can hear the theme song in everyone car stereo on their way back home in my ears now...

Garuda di dadaku..Garuda kebanggaanku..

Kuyakin hari ini pasti menang!!!

^_^

Big Girls Do Cry

Being single is something that some people, men in particular, consider as a privilege. Ask George Clooney if you don't believe me. By staying single means that you can do whatever you want at anytime you want with whoever you want. What not love about that, eh? That was my thought before too. And yeah, I do mean it before like before the time I write this blog literally. Confuse? Of course, you do.

Alright, let me explain to you why did I think of that. As you guys knew already, I live in the island of Bali where people considered it as the island of fun and freedom. Oh yeah, when the first time you step your foot on this island you could find your daily life in wherever you live at the moment was suck! And that happened to me too. In my case even worse, when I decided to moved to Bali, I was like hoping for some major change in my normal life lived in my parents house. I even lied to my olds told them that I got a job in this island just to made them let me out of their comfortable cage. They bought that then here I am. And since this was my first self freedom, I prepared myself for some super crazy scenario of life. But what did I get? I met a guy on my third day in the island, and the last thing I remembered was moving in with him. Instead of having my freedom, I just moved myself from a comforted zone to another even more comforted zone. Guess my self consciousness was not that ready for an adventure just yet. The fact that I preferred my cozy life lying on the couch watching TV rather than worked my ass upside down to make my own life took the biggest part in the making of that decision that change my life forever.

Oh no, don't get too excited yet, am not going to spill the detail about my previous heart broken relationship here. The point is now that am single right at the most important holiday of the year, that was more than just lame. I now realized how I need someone at this time of year, badly. The fact that I still don't get used to take care of myself yet made this situation even worse. I can not even believe am saying this, but yeah, being single is gay..so gay!

Funny thing about this was my last conversation with a friend who was single and we were talking about going out partying at one weekend and she asked me if I could join her. Back then, I said to her that at this point I wished that I was single so I could say 'hell yeah' to her question without even thinking. But because of I was not, so I had to checked with my man first and see if he was okay letting me out that night. Oh no, don't get me wrong, I knew for sure that he would say 'yes' anyway, he was actually that kind of cool guy, but still, the fact that I couldn't give an answer right away when someone asked to do something, it really bothered me a lot. Hey, what can I say? I don't do commitment, am an Aquarian, remember?

So, now back to the topic, it was just recently when I finally fully aware that I am a single girl living in an island of freedom and fun, and what did I do? I cried. I was like losing my grip and this holiday festive definitely doesn't do any help..at all. For a moment there, for a split second, I felt so lonely and suddenly missed my old life back. I want that rush and itchy feeling when planning what to do for new year eve and where to go. I want that shopping spree terrorizing all of the big sales in town. I want that joyful feeling when came home and saw the face that I've seen forever in my life. I want those back. Damn, who says being single is a privilege after all?

Then here I am, alone in my room, feeling so confuse. It's not that I don't have anyone to spend this holiday with, I just don't have the mood to do so. I was so used with the ritual that Christmas and New Year's Eve were supposed to be celebrate with your love ones kind of thing so it does give me a blue when my love one isn't mine anymore. Not that I feel sad of losing him, oh no, I've passed that state already, but I do miss all of those little things that we normally shared at this time of year. Even the silliest one, I suddenly want it back. And dang..it hurts to remember all of those knowing that it's not going to happen anymore. So yeah, I know that they say 'big girls don't cry', but am sure there is an exception for my case, isn't it? Thank you very much..Kleenex, please?

^_^

Too Much To Handle?

The other night was a big, oh no..it was a huge disappointment from our national football team who lost their mojo and got beaten by Malaysian team 3 to nothing. After being unbeatable in previous rounds, suddenly Gonzalez and his gang seemed to not known how to play football anymore. I mean, come on..not even one single attempt that they had done. Overall, they looked like a bunch of kids who just got thrown into the field and told to play. Such a useless performance!
Alright, was that completely the boys fault? Wait a minute. They were actually bunch of kids who got thrown into the field and told to play by their manager! A-ha! We got the defendant here! In football game, just like every other team games in sports, the manager was the first 'IT' factor who actually made the team. Their intuition that create such a good team to aim the winning title. Good managers can build a good team whether they hire superstar players or not. For example, Jose Mourinho. He was one of the great man who famous for not being a big spenders on superstar players, instead, he just reform the remained players and use his magic touch to make them a good team. Remember what he did with Inter Milan last season? I even believe that he left Chelsea for that particular reason. When Abramovich started to buy all of those superstars just for sake of buying them, he quit. Yeah, great managers buy players who play well, not who cost well, not who sell well. Look at Ferguson who hardly bought any superstar players lately, he just concentrate in how to teach the remaining players to play great as a team, not individually.
Alright, back to our team, one biggest mistake that we did was being over confident. Yes, we did beat Malaysia before 5 to 1 but it doesn't mean that we are better than them. We often forget that one of the reasons why we battered them on the last game was because we were playing at home. Thing is, when a team in any game plays at home, they were actually play with one additional player which is the supporters. So when last time Malaysia played with eleven men in field, we played with twelve men, and oh believe me, this made a lot of differences. Likewise, it happened the other night as well in Bukit Jalil Stadium of Malaysia. We were actually can say that we were lucky for only got beat 3-0 by them considering how bad we played. Because that means that we have to beat them at least 4-0 on the next leg and since we did hammer them 5-1 at home before so the possibility is still there. But of course, as I said above, do not over confident by under estimate them!
Then let's talk about what did the manager does wrong the other night? Everything! Oh well, am not a football critic but I can easily saw so many mistakes from the other night's game. First, I know for sure the fact that Gonzalez was a hero from the two previous games, but putting him in the field from the beginning was a mistake. Don't get me wrong, but here is the thing, true that Gonzalez is indeed a good closer, not brilliant yet just good, but he can't run. Do not count him to chase the ball, because he is actually kind of slow player. What can you expect from a 34 years old guy anyway? I mean, come on..that was like 50 in football years! Seriously! So if I were the manager I will save him for the last 20 minutes of the game so he could play to the max, and instead, I will put Bambang Pamungkas in. Hold on, don't you yell at me yet. Yes, I know that BP is also kind of old as a player, BUT, he is the leader. He was like Laurent Blanc for France national team. Remember the 1994 world cup when France won the title? I believe with all my heart it was because of him. He was the leader in field and every player looked up on him. Oh no, unlike BP, he wasn't the captain for the team but he was the brain. Like the Prime Minister to the Queen of England. Just like BP, he got the charisma and other players need him in the field. So yeah, if I were Alfred Riedl, I would've put him first instead of El Loco. I know that Gonzalez has already got his Indonesian passport, but knowing our other aspects with Malaysian, we need an Indonesian leader in the field to put our players together, to burn their spirits and use it as a weapon. Firman Utina just not quite there yet. Seriously, the game last night was supposed to be a patriotic one considering our history with this nation, but obviously it was too much to handle for the boys.
You guys were probably wanted to kill me at this point, but hey, this was only an opinion. You don't have to be agree with me, because actually am not finished yet. Let's now talk about another naturalization player from Holland, Irfan Bachdim who barely touched the ball last night. I mean, it was so easy for us to treat the players as our hero just because of they scored in a game but often we forget who actually masterminded the goal. For example, Irfan Bachdim was became an overnight sensation after he scored on the game against Malaysia on the qualification round and for some reason, it doesn't matter anymore whether he plays well or not, which actually he doesn't. I mean, he is good sometime but he is just average overall. Just the fact that he was now in the list for every teenage girls dream date doesn't mean that he is indeed a great player. I mean, shoot me if am wrong, but now I can totally see why 2 Indonesian clubs gave him a NO before. He isn't just that good. He was just like David Beckham without that bend. So if I were Riedl, I will definitely put him on the bench. And do we have any other goalkeeper apart from Markus? Come on, people..please don't make me write why did I ask that question? Alright, if you insisted, he was just an awkward guy and awkwardness was not something that we want to see in the field. Everything about him was just so annoys me, specially how easy he falls down like a feather. I mean, this is football after all, you supposed to got kicked and elbowed in there, unless if you were Gonzalez who was never mind chasing the ball..ha! Just because of he got hooked up with that Indonesian actress wanna be, doesn't mean that he is a superstar as well. Oh come on..get a life! It was sickening to hear how the Indonesian TV commentator referred him as her husband rather than his own name. I mean, seriously guys? No wonder that poor guy never played well. Oh no, I was supposed to battered him but now I feel sorry for him.
Alright..alright, actually not all of our players were bad. I mean, even though most of the goals that we produced in previous games were kind of lucky factors, but we do have some potential players to be proud of. Just because of they were not superstars didn't mean that they are not exist. Octovianus Maniani for example, he is the guy to be watch for every coach out there. He is young, fast, and doesn't really mind the spotlight. The fact that he is a midfielder, doesn't stop him running around all over the place to chase the ball and help the striker to score or even score himself and sometime becomes a defender by making a brilliant safe for the clumsy calamity Markus. Just a typical good player. Between him and other defender Arif Suyono, who plays in the same club with him, are definitely the players to watched.
So if you ask me if I have a doubt for our team in the next game, the answer is no, I don't. Am pretty sure that we will win the second leg game tomorrow, considering the two players I mentioned above and the twelfth player who will definitely help the boys building their confidence back up, but will we score enough goals to win the title? That is, honestly, am not so sure. Unless if Riedl read my blog and decided to go with my opinion then it will be a different story. Ha!

^_^

What Not To Like About Christmas?

Alright, I know the fact that am a Muslim and don't celebrate Christmas, but that was so ancient style. Nowadays, people doesn't treat Christmas as something religious anymore. Of course it is a religious matter but since it celebrates on the 25th day of December which made it the last holiday of the year, oh well, apart from New Year's eve celebration though, if you want to count it as this year celebration, many people in the world nowadays treat Christmas as a tradition rather than a religious ceremonial thing. People all around the world is having their blasts this time of year. Presents, foods, family, parties, wines, trees, decorations, lights, those are Christmas all about. Everyone seems to have something to celebrate on Christmas day. Forget about the fact that it was actually the celebration of Jesus day of birth when God sent him to safe the world, Christmas is more like a family celebration. People make time to go back home to their family at this time of year. No matter how busy they are, Christmas should be your best excuse to be with your love ones without feeling cheesy. It was nice though, spending at least one day a year to be with your folks, having some quality times together, and showing each other what love is about. And when else the best time to do it apart from a week before the year changed? I mean, there are so many holidays in a year, but we were always find an excuse to avoid family and easily say that 'Don't worry, I'll be home next holiday!' without feeling guilty. But when it comes to Christmas, there's no next holiday in the same year afterward. So yeah, you make time for it, end of story!
Funny thing is that at this point everyone doesn't seems to care anymore about work or anything else. All they have in mind were holidays, holidays, and holidays. Even the phone ring sounds like a jingle bell at this point..ha! So hard to pay attention to your job when everywhere in town all that you can see were decoration trees and lights. I can even hear fireworks almost every night during Christmas to new year's eve time. So many parades and festive mode going on! Oh, how amazing!
Then yeah, back to my question above, what not to like about Christmas? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! In fact, there are so many things to like about it! It's the best holiday of the year after all! Totally!

^_^

To all of my dear friends..happy holidays, people!!

Mother, How Are You Today?

How I hurt your feeling, I can't even justify
How I make you cry, only God knows why
How I caused your disappointment, only me can be blame
But still, the smile on your face never ever fade away
How I yell at you, no one would believe
How I broke your heart, like I was never grow up in time
How I caused every damage, I barely believe in myself
But still, your love never conditioned any of those
How I so insensible, you never bother
How I always forget to call you, I always find excuses
How ignorant I can be, you always forgive
And still, you kiss my forehead and tell how you love me
How mischievous I sometime, you give me your best smile
How I lie over stupid things, we always reconcile
How I worry you, I never apologize
And still, you catch me whenever I fall
So mother how are you today?
This poem is all about my deepest feeling
My deepest regression for being who I am
For not being a perfect daughter, for never be there

^_^

To love, to forgiveness, to sweetness, to memories, to good times, to bad times, and above of all..to mum! Happy mother's day, sincere lady!!

Forbidden Command

A couple of days ago I met two Middle East guys who were stayed in one of the eighteen villas in my compound. You may be wondering why do I talk about them, so here's the interesting part. One of the guys went to see the receptionist at the same time I was there so I was kind of accidentally over heard what they talked about. The guy was unhappy about the bathroom in their villa which was an open air one. They were like mention about how open bathroom was prohibit in their religion, which was Islam. As a Muslim myself, this issue definitely caught my attention. I don't mean from the religious point of view but from a day to day point of view. I mean, come on..you're on holiday for God sake, loosen up a little bit! It's not like you were committed one of those seven deadly sins or anything. Am pretty sure God wouldn't mind if you take shower in an open bathroom once in a while. Besides, it was open but it was still inside the villa and not like everyone else can see you shower! Duh!

Seriously guys, I can not understand some people like them sometime, who went for holiday to the island like Bali which definitely well known as a freestyle place, then complained about things like that? Don't they know this little thing called 'Google'? If I plan my holiday to some particular places, the first thing I did was to Google the place so I would prepare. They surely didn't look like uneducated persons but what they did was very stupid for me. I mean, honestly, what kind of person complaining about such things on his or her holiday? Seriously!

Alright, here is the thing, I believe religion is not something to restrain you from having a little fun in life. Holiday is not prohibit and surely taking shower outdoor as well. Everything in religion is adjustable as long as it wasn't the primary ones. So of course, as Muslims, you still have to pray five times a day and fasting on the month of Ramadan. Those are a must with no compromise whatsoever, but taking shower in an open bathroom is not a big deal. It's not like a primary kind of thing, not even secondary. Even the Quran itself never mention it, so you know what it means, don't you? Exactly, not important, dude! So let your fanaticism loose and enjoy your holiday! Go to a bar or something for crying out loud, it was a lot (by far) better than worrying about God will be mad at you just because of you were taking shower in an open air bathroom! Totally!

^_^

Jealous Woman (A Poem)

Am a jealous woman

So I jealous to those buttons

I jealous to that shirt

For being with you the whole day

Am a jealous woman

So I jealous to those socks

I jealous to your shoes

For taking you away from me

Am a jealous woman

So I jealous to that cup of tea

I jealous to those biscuits

For making your day every afternoon

Am a jealous woman

So I jealous to that plane

I jealous to those tickets

For allowing you travel so far away

Am a jealous woman

So I jealous to those wines

I jealous to those champagnes

For keeping you entertained at night

Am a jealous woman

So I jealous to the umbrella

I jealous to the sunscreen

For protecting you against the nature

Am a jealous woman

So I jealous to your dog

I jealous to your cat

For sleeping with you when the night comes

Am a jealous woman

So I jealous to the rain

I jealous to the wind

And everything else that moves around you

Am I jealous woman

Because I am a lover

And God creates jealousy

So people know what love is

^_^

Imperfectly Perfection

Have you ever been in the situation where your relationship with your love one doesn't go the way you want it to be? Well, I do. Here is the thing, I had been together with my previous partner for as long as I can remember. We never had any serious problem that needed our concerns whatsoever. Seemed so perfect from the outside but not so much in the inside. No, am not going to spill the details here but I just want to open everyone else's mind that sometime something that look so perfect actually is the sign of an imperfection. When everything seems to be following your way, sometime it blinds you of what your gut was telling you. Just like what happened to me, even though my gut was always telling me that he was never the one but I thought I could make him. I mean, come on, he was so perfect and he did nothing wrong. And to be honest with you, I did think that he was at the beginning, but toward our fifth years together I lost it. The feeling wasn't even there anymore. But, because of everything seems so decent, I have no reason to changed it. So, despite on what I felt inside me, I just carried on. I thought that was the right thing to do, but I was wrong. Totally.

When your feeling to your love one becomes flat, actually that's when the alarm went off. I mean, it doesn't have to be like a fight or an argument or something, but when you feel like having a good friend next to you instead of partner, then that's actually the time to make a change. And no, it doesn't have to be something extreme like what I did, but it was definitely the time. You can either fix the relationship so you can be together still or move on with your own life. As for me, I chose the last one. I mean, I don't have many friends, everyone knew that. Am actually the kind of person who loves do things alone. I don't really do friendship, only for few people who I really like and can take advantage from. Ha! So yeah, the point is  when the feeling between you and your partner turned flat and it was more like a friendship thingy, as for me, it is time to move on. Come on, you can't sleep with your good friend, can you? That is so gross!!

So yeah, then I took an action which probably made everyone judged me as an ignorant selfish unbelievably heartless human being. But I couldn't help myself and pretending anymore. Our thing was over, us doesn't belong to him and me anymore. Our 'oh so perfect' relationship turned bitter and flat. Whether if we like it or not, the reality was so obvious. The one way system road that we walked on before is now separated into two. As a dear friend once said, we can actually change our destiny with our conscious action, then yeah, I hope what I did just now can make my destiny in the future even better than what God has wrote for me. And so does for him. I hope that we (my ex and me) can be good friends in the future, because that what he was to me for the past two years of our togetherness, a truly good friend.

^_^

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Friends Believe

So, it was no secret to anyone that I am a big fan of Entourage, a TV show about four young guys who have been best friends since they were little boys. They all from the same are which was Queens of New York. One of them, Vincent Chase, is becoming an 'it' guy in the film industry hence his migration to Los Angeles, following his step brother, Johnny Chase a.k.a Drama who is an Hollywood has been. Together with him, he took his gang. Eric a.k.a E, a super serious guy, who is later on hired as his manager, and Turtle, a stalk hip hop want to be producer, who is happily enough to just drive his superstar best friend around the town. The male bonding thing between four of them is kind of beyond friendship, and as for me, I clicked with these boys right after I watched them for the very first time. Actually I didn't watched the first season from the beginning but then I bought their DVDs and collected them from the first to the sixth season. Yeah, you can say that am addicted to them! Big time!

Now here's the thing, I didn't just get this addiction without any reason. I personally admire their friendship and really get into their stuffs. They seem so real as well as everything else, seem so true and could've happened to any of us in real life. For example, in one of the episodes, a guy from their childhood named Dominic came to visit. He was just got out of jail for some felony thing he did. E as the wise one had a little bit of objection on having Dom in the house Vince rented for them. He was concerned about Vince's image as the new superstar of Hollywoodland if people find out who his friend was. But Vince, over everyone else's doubt, ignored it. He felt like he was kind of owe Dom for everything that he has now. When they were in high school back then, Dominic got caught with some illegal amount of weeds which actually belong to Vince. But instead of telling the truth about that, Dom took the blame and go to jail to protected Vince as he was already labeled as trouble maker anyway but Vince wasn't. So Vince wanted to pay that back.

During his stay with the boys, everyone, apart from Vince, was like keeping their awareness awake. Anything went wrong, they looked at Dom right away. But Vince believes everything that Dom said. Dom convinced him that he was changed as he got married and has a son now. Forget about the series but I just got hit by the essence of the storyline. One thing I agree without any hesitation is, if you call yourself a friend, that means you don't question. Friends don't doubt, friends believe. Even though sometime you might find that you were wrong, that the person you thought was your friend turned out to be someone different and you barely recognized him or her, but as a friend you were kind of having no other choice apart from accept it. I mean, people change. So if you still want to call yourself as a friend to that person, than you have to bended your things a little bit for him. Or her. As for me, I do practice this belief in the way of my making friends. If you guys like questioning me, that's when I know that you were not a friend. Maybe that's why I don't really have a lot of friends. Because I was never questioning any of my friends, then I determine the same thing. I think that's fair enough. So, are you my friends? Then stop questioning!

^_^

Smart/Manipulative (Cheeky Mummy)

That was the first things that came in to my head when I watched Keeping Up With The Kadarshians this afternoon from my comfy bed. Hey, what's wrong with that? That was definitely the best thing that you could do on Sunday afternoon curing your hangover from the night before. Ha! Alright, back to the topic. In one of the episodes, Khloe was trying to approach her new husband Lamar, the LA Lakers basketball player, to buy her a house that cost US$ 5.9 millions. Even though he was a super rich athlete, but still, he was kind of shocked knowing the price. Then when Khloe told her mum, Kris, about Lamar reaction to the price, guess what she said? Literally, she was like suggested her daughter to get some rose petals and candles, put them in the bedroom then sexed it up a little bit. Then, according to Kris super genius mind, he will be more than happy to get the house for her. So right! One thing I love about this dis-functional family was the miseducation between parents and children that sometime correctly acceptable as in a modern family who live in a modern life.

Then here's the thing, as a woman, I can easily connected to this situation. I mean, men sometime don't get it. We want to appreciate ourselves by having the best things in life. And it's not that we don't know how hard you guys work for the money you earned, but we're women, we supposed to be big spenders. We were destined to be like that. There must be something wrong with us if we don't. And come on, as long as it won't broke you, then I don't see anything wrong with that. Hey, women know how to spend money as much as men know how to make money! Oh don't you love being a woman? Ha!

Back to the title, I then came to a conclusion that women are actually smart and manipulative. We seem to happened to be expert in making our ways by manipulating men's thought. We knew how to deal with men's ego hence we tend to reach our goals almost all the time. And in the other hand, men seem to let themselves to be manipulated by women. Honestly, I believe that men actually kind of knew this already. They are not stupid, aren't they? Then why did they fall into this trap over and over again? Are women that smart? Or we just so good in manipulation? Or men just simply don't really pay any attention?

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Blessed From The Past

As you guys probably knew already that I just moved in to a new villa in an area called Seminyak. Seminyak is actually a center of boutiques and decent nightlife in Bali. If you hear whole the time about Kuta, then this one is a proper version of it. You can get everything that you can normally get in Kuta but in a civilized kind. Alright, you can say that Seminyak is a snobby Kuta! Yeah, that's actually true, but for me, as am not that young, reckless, and wild anymore so Seminyak is definitely my type of thing.

And as everyone can read in my previous blog, I was talking about this certain villa which gave me a good feeling beneath. In English, the villa's name means 'The Past'. The reason I moved out from my old place was to disconnected with my past. Then..voila! I found the place that has the same meaning. Coincidence? You tell me!

Oh well, never mind, let's talk about the place then. Villa Lalu (that's obviously the name) is actually the very first boutique villa in Seminyak and it has eighteen villas surrounding a super cool swimming pool which has fabulous night view with its super sensational lighting. Just by looking at the pool at night time already gave me a sort of romantic feeling. Then don't blame me if I find someone to fall in love with in this place. Blame it on the pool and whoever designed the lighting was. Ha! The villa itself, the one that I occupied in, was actually just a normal type of villa in Bali. Yeah, you can find many villas similar to this one easily, but you can not find the same atmosphere. I felt something different right when I breath in the air of the place. It gave me peace, and I don't know how but I can see myself settle in this place in near future. So no matter how people said that I was overpaid the place, but what was it compare to the feeling I have got when I was there? Nothing. And believe it or not, even though the place was actually in the middle of one of the busiest area in Bali, but I can barely hear anything at night. So peacefully quite. Weird!

Now, let's talk about the people here. The first time I came to check on the place, I met a humble young guy who was, at the end, I found that he was the owner of the place. He was so normal and friendly hence fool me on how old was he. Seriously, I thought that he was in his early thirties but turned out he was pretty much older. Am not an easy person to make friend with, but for some reasons, I found myself easily connected to him. We were like two old buddies who were just met after a shortly break, despite on our age barrier. Too many things in common and he was like way from being boring, unlike some people in his generation. Then yeah, what else do you want to asked for, apart from a friend, someone who you can talk to, in your first day of moving in to a new place? Am pretty much blessed.

So if you guys want to know if I was still confused with my suddenly changing life, my answer would be : "Yes, I am". But for some reasons, I got this strange feeling that now that I surrounded by great atmosphere around, then I will be alright.

^_^

Moving In And Moving On

Becoming single at certain age was not as much fun as when you were in your early twenties. So of course, a few weeks ago when I found that I was suddenly single, I was confused. I don't know why, but am not sad or devastated, or anything, but confused. The fact was, I just realized that I have never been single for the past eleven years of my life. This, actually, makes me kind of losing my grip, plus am not that young anymore, plus I was so used to have someone cleaned-up my mess so having the situation where I have to deal with everything by myself now give me a sort of problem understanding the reality. I need that so called compass that guarded me on daily basis. Yeah, am that lame!

But, as wise men said, life goes on. So yeah, the choice was having stuck with the past and questioning the situation or making the move and forget what happened. I chose the last one. Yeah, actually I myself, doesn't even know where did I get this strength from, oh..apart from having a conversation with a dear friend, who gave me a few words that kind of opened my mind that I could do this. Life doesn't end up just because of you were suddenly single. Life moves on. Whether you move on with it or not, it won't change anything. You can cry your eyes off, you can blame anyone or anything, you can question everything, but it will not change anything. Then why bother?

So my first move was giving myself a brand new start. Yeah, last night I moved in to a new villa in a totally new area from my past life. I really don't want to connect with anything from the past anymore. I mean, life goes on, not goes back. True, sometime we might need a flashback of what we had in the past, but in this situation I don't see it's necessary. What I had in the past was hard yet awesome because it actually taught me how to be strong and be responsible for everything that you've done. I have no regret whatsoever. Guess they were right when they said what doesn't kill you make you stronger.

Do you believe in destiny? Well, I do. When I had a relationship disturbance last time, I don't blame him and obviously don't blame myself either, but I put it on my destiny. Just because I was with a great guy who was totally lovable, it doesn't mean anything if my destiny doesn't include him. Maybe it sounded selfish, but for me that was the truth and I don't owe anyone any explanation. I feel bad for not having a sad feeling of losing him, but I can not lie and pretend to be. To be honest with you guys, I actually feel relieved. So yeah, somebody shoot me!

As I said above, last night was my first big move by moving in to a new villa. And I love it! When I went to see the place yesterday night, I felt the vibe right away. I don't know what or why, but the ambient hit me just like that. There was something about the place and I feel it. Then I met the owner, a young friendly Balinese guy who was totally cool. On the spot, I sealed the deal. So last night after work, I checked myself in and this morning I fell in love even more. The place gave me some kind of peace and I do believe over everything else in my life that I will be good and survive in it.

I know, some people might think that am a heartless. Some people might hate me or even judge me for what happened. But I can only care less. And am not going to justify myself to anyone whom, in my opinion, has nothing to do with this situation. I knew for sure, many people from my past, who were only knew the story from one side, would decide that am the guilty one here but I don't really pay any attention to that. I don't live my life according to others opinion. My life is about me, myself , and I. Call me a cold b*tch, but am done worrying about what other people might think of me. Seriously, it was tiring. I have so many things to grateful in life then why should I care about a small thing like that? A dear friend once said, no matter what you did, bad or good, someone will always has some ugly things to say about it. So again, why bother? Then yeah, I can now officially said that I moved in and move on.

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So Much For Her Happy Ending

This is a real true story about a woman, let say her name was Mrs. Z (of course I won’t tell you guys her real name, it won’t be appropriate), an illiterate Javanese woman who was living in an unbelievably turmoil life story. I don’t know where to start it, but let me at least tell you about her ‘not so much fun’ childhood remedy first. When she was fourteen, a guy who was a friend of her family saw her when she was playing with other kids around her house and fell in love with her. They guy, who was seven years older than her, asked his parents to proposed to her parents and asked them to let him marry her. Over some financial consideration, her parents accept the proposal and the next thing she remembered was her wedding day. She was just fourteen!

Being married with that guy for almost 28 years and having six kids and eight grandchildren, just to found that the guy was cheated on her so many times and she didn‘t know about it at all until it was too late. It was already became a habit for him. Then three years ago she met a guy, a much younger guy, who was a friend of a student who lived in her rented room and seduced her. Oh, maybe I didn’t tell you earlier but she was a pretty much beautiful lady. I can see her beauty was still out there even if she was 45. So yeah, maybe the guy was after her money or maybe he really loved her, who knows? The main thing was, she got into his charm and decided to had an affair with him. Hey, am not justifying what she has done, but everyone makes mistake in their life and nobody’s perfect. But when the husband found out about it, he was furious. Despite on how he was also cheated on her, he divorced her. Luckily, the young lad took her and marry her, maybe he does love her after all. But of course, everyone in her family, especially her children were against this craziness. They got their point though, the guy was almost as young as the oldest son, for sure it made it awkward for them. All of the children were saying that he was only after their mum’s money. They didn’t really care about their mum’s feeling but they were just selfishly blacklisted the guy. So of course, after living in some kind of dilemma for almost three years, she decided to went with the kids and divorced the guy. Yeah, as a mother, she put her own feeling aside and follow what she thought good for her kids. “I lost their dad already, I don’t want to lose them as well,” that was her answer when I asked why. Oh mother, how great your heart is!
A couple of month after her second divorce, she found out that she was pregnant. Over her naivety, she thought because of her age, she won’t be able to get pregnant anymore then she never used any birth control whatsoever and it worked in the first three years of their marriage, but when she then divorced, everything changes. God must have done His work in a funny way, if He really has something to do with this. But yeah, this news was obviously stressed her out so she called a friend who live in Bali and asked if she could crushed on her couch for a week or so just to get rid of her problem and that was how she was ended up in this island of Gods at first place. Having coming to the island only for a second time but this time as a single lady who was pretty hurting by men, she decided to had a bit of fun for herself. The third night she was in the island, she went for a ’supposed to be’ fun night out with her friend then they headed to a seafood restaurant somewhere on a beach which was quite famous for seaside culinary spot. Again, over her naivety, she rushed herself to call her kids back home in some city in Java while waiting for the waitress getting their table ready just for showing off to them. Big mistake. While calling her kids, she was accidentally put her other hand on the back of a Korean tourist’s chair without knowing that there was a big bag underneath the chair contains two laptops, one handy-cam, and a digital camera. Out of sudden, a waiter grabbed her hand and accused her of trying to steal the bag. She tried to defense herself but nobody listened to her. Then came along the polices who took her and her friend to the station. But when they were in front of the restaurant waiting for the police’s car to take them away, a man, out of nowhere shouted and called them thieves. One guy started to through out a punch and everything was out of control started from there.
Seriously guys, can you imagine running away from your messy life just to found out that you were pretty much pregnant in your middle age, got accused of trying to steal, got beaten by mass inhuman people and taken to the police station? What a curse! On the way to the police station, her friend asked Mrs. Z to handed her money to her to hide in her pants because otherwise the police will take them. And again, over her naivety, she did it. So when she said to the police that she was not a thief but she was there for eating and the police asked her if she has any money to eat in that restaurant, she said yes but she gave it to her friend which being questioned in separated room with her, the police (obviously) did not buy that. I don’t blame the police as they were only doing their job but the injustice happened when she was asked to sign out a paperwork which she didn‘t know what it was all about (I told you that she couldn‘t read and write, didn’t I?) and over her (yeah, again) naivety, she did it. And nobody even had a decency to read it for her first before she signed it out. And now, after almost one and a half month being kept in the ‘as minimum facilities as you can imagine’ jail, she was still hasn’t get any information about he case whatsoever. She didn’t even have any contact with her family until the fourth day she was there and when she finally had a chance to contacted her family, it wasn’t the police who gave her that ‘one phone call’ chance but from a girl who came to visit her boyfriend who was there because of his gambling case, who felt pity for the pregnant Mrs. Z then allow her using her mobile to make a call. OMG! Talking about justice in this country! I thought everyone is innocent until they proved guilty, but not for this extraordinary case. No wonder she tried to killed herself at the first week she was in there.
So yeah, by this coming Monday, she will be officially there for one a half month without any progress on her situation. I won’t interfere the case as I don’t write this to intimidate anyone, specially not the police. But what comes to my concern was her rights as a human. Three weeks ago when the first time I came to visit her, there she was slept on a cold concrete floor with only some pieces of newspaper to covered it. She was pregnant for God sake! Then I asked if she ever visit a doctor about her pregnancy, she said never. Then I smell something terrible, so I asked. OMG, you won’t believe what she told me. The toilet in her sell was broken and split into two since the first day she was there. She told the guard already but no one doing nothing about it. What a shame! So yeah, that day I made the police fixed the toilet and while the worker doing it, I made the police took Mrs. Z to the clinic to check on her pregnancy. Seriously, I can sleep well afterwards. I mean, despite on either she was guilty or not, but she was a human just like us. She has a right to be treated as a human, a thief or not a thief. I was seriously concern about her but I can not do anything about her case. I felt some suspicious conspiracies here as the daughter told me that she paid some amount of money to the police investigator who claimed that they were for the attorney to seal the deal to released Mrs. Z, but it was more than a week ago and she was still in there. Poor little Mrs. Z, her friend who was with her at the scene had been released five weeks ago. Did she framed her? I don’t know. I don’t even want to go that far. But I promised myself to be always there whenever she needs me, not that I knew her personally, but only over my deepest sympathy to her. I really hope that she will come out of this mess and start her brand new life soon. God bless her.

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How Far Would You Go?

Here is the thing, I practice modern Islam. It’s not that I against conventionalism, but I just don’t believe that religion ban you from having fun. As long as you stay in a right pattern, then you’ll be alright. For example, I love wearing nail polish on my toe and finger nails. Orthodox says that as a Moslem, you are not allowed to. But for me, nail polish makes your hand and feet look pretty and I believe that God will understand that. I mean, he creates women with all of their requirements and normal women require beauty. That was my excuse and am stick to it. The rest of it, I will let Him as the almighty to decide. Another example is, as you all know, I love dogs. And as a Moslem, I wasn’t supposed to petting them. But I don’t really believe that. I mean, how could He created such a lovely creature but not allow anyone to love them? So yeah, I know they said that we are not allowed to touch them but I kiss them, sleep with them, and even shower with them. Do I feel guilty? To be honest, I don’t want to think about it that way. My intention of having dogs around is because of I love them and not because of I against God’s rule so I believe so that He will understand it. Hey, He can read you alright, can’t He? I mean, He’s the one who has that ultimate power, for God sake!  

I know this one is going to be a controversy but I can not ignore the curiosity inside my heart, so here is the thing, when fasting month started I received so many message through my Blackberry, Facebook, mobile phone text, and stuffs wishing me happy Ramadan. So of course, I replied back to all of those. Only, most of those messages are written in serious words so for me it was kind of boring. Then what did I do? I replied them in a slightly relax words message with a little bit joke at the end of it. As a result, one of dear friends of mine replied me back and told me that my message was inappropriate. Then I told him my excuse that I was only trying to let loose a little bit as everyone seemed to be so serious at this time of year. My dear friend then said, “You can not joke when it comes to religious things,” I was like, “Can’t I? Really? But why?”

Then this morning when I posted my new status on my Facebook profile about how excited I was knowing that today is the last day of fasting, another dear friend of mine also commented and remind me that, as a Moslem, am not supposed to be happy that Ramadan is finally toward the end. Because (according to my dear friend) it’s going to make it just like a bad lover, someone that we can not wait for them to leave. Their departures excite us. Then I was like, NO that was definitely not my intention. So yeah, I then answered him that for me, I was always treating Ramadan as my birthday. I mean, it comes once a year, I was always looking forward to it, but I also thrill when it’s done because that means it’s time for me to unwrap my presents. Ha!

Now seriously, for me, religious things were not something that limited us to anything in life. I mean, just because it was related to God, then we can not joke about it? For me, as long as it’s not underestimating and or insulting then it was fine. God has sense of humor too, I believe. And I also believe that He forgive me and understand me when I tried to joke and let loose a little bit, even if it’s about Him. The main thing is that I was never ever tried to make fun of Him. Joking and making fun of someone were two different things. And I was never ever made fun of my God, but I sometime joke religiously…if you know what I mean. Ha!

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The Mystery Man In The White Suit

The Stig is a racing driver who appears on the British motoring television show, Top Gear. Cast as the 'tame racing driver', he is portrayed as a silent, anonymous, possibly non-human, presenter of the show, whose primary role is to post Power Lap times on the Top Gear test track and train celebrity guests to lap it in the 'Reasonably Priced Car'. He also makes various other appearances on the show, as do his similarly anonymous 'cousins'. The character was the creation of presenter Jeremy Clarkson and the show's producer Andy Wilman who came up with the idea for the revamp of Top Gear from its old format which ran from 1977 to 2001. 'Stig' was a nickname for new boys at their old school.

For years now the show producers kept the identity of the man inside the locker. To be honest with you, for me, this was made the show even more interesting, besides seeing the super trio Clarkson, Hammon, and May. There have been two Stig characters used on Top Gear - 'Black Stig' and 'White Stig', differentiated by the color of their overalls and helmet. Black Stig was used for the first and second series from October 2002 to July 2003, before falling out with the show's producers. He was written out of the show in a stunt in the first episode of series three, being launched off of the aircraft carrier HMS Invincible. In the next episode, new White Stig was introduced, and has featured for the next thirteen series, from November 2003 to August 2010.

The BBC has always refused to officially confirm the identity of the actor who plays the Stig. As a result, the identity of the Stig has been speculated on at length by the press, fans and racing personalities since the beginning of the show, becoming one of the most popular internet searches ever. Black Stig was first named by a newspaper as Perry McCarthy between the second and third series. After leaving the show, McCarthy identified himself in his updated autobiography, and is now generally named as the first Stig even by BBC media, although McCarthy has stated Julian Bailey also stood in for him also. In the era of the White Stig, several people have been linked with the role, even a returning Bailey. It has even been speculated that there is no permanent actor, with evidence at least of specialist Stigs used, such as Dan Lang, a Swedish snowmobile cross driver. Early suspicion fell on Damon Hill after an appearance on the show in 2005.

In January 2009, after sustained speculation and investigation by the press, suspicion mounted around one possible candidate, leading to Ben Collins being definitively named in the press as White Stig, although he denied it. In series thirteen in June 2009 the show revealed the Stig was Michael Schumacher, but this was quickly debunked as a stunt. In August 2009 it emerged the White Stig intended to write an autobiography, leading to a legal dispute between the show, and publisher HarperCollins, while Collins was further linked to the role with more reported evidence. On 1 September 2010, after failing to have the book prevented, the author was named as Ben Collins, with publication of The Man in the White Suit expected in September 2010. The BBC however still refuse to officially confirm if Collins "either was or remains" the Stig, simply acknowledging he is the author of the book who claims to be the Stig.

As one of the fans I was totally disappointed with this drama. I was always hoping that they kept the Stig identity as something sacred and let people play with their own thoughts about who the man was. But I can not blame them either as Mr. Collins greed was led him to make this, in my own perspective, stupid decision. Guess he was tired to be in the shadow and dying to taste some of that sweetness of sixty minutes of fame which for me, bad, worse even, decision! But hey, everyone has a right to be seen once in a while, don’t they? The main thing is that he was not that German driver. Oh how happy I am!

^_^


Sources : Wikipedia, Google

Can You Handle The Truth?

For the last few months, everyone I knew has been putting the link about what really inside the junk food that we were love to have: McDonald. Now here is the thing, am a junk food lover. I eat almost everything that people said unhealthy. For me, the unhealthier a food could be the better it tasted. So yeah, somebody please shoot me but I am that bad.

So, when someone suggested me to check on that link (www.mcdstruthvideo.com) I was like, yeah right. Call me a freak, but of course I knew that everything in those foods is bad. The point was, do I care? I mean, this is my body and am the only one who is dealing with it, so why bother. I knew it was bad since long-long time before, but I chose to ignore it because I don’t really give a damn. The thing is, even good foods doesn’t always give you good effect. You need those baddies once in a while just to make your body learn how to deal with them. As long as you know the limit, then go for it; leave the rest to your antibodies. I mean, am not eating those junk food everyday like frequently, NO. But of course I eat them and to be honest with you, I don’t want to change this habit. I love junk food and I can not lie. Hah!

80% of people said they will seriously NEVER eat McDonalds again after seeing the link, the report says. Ho-ho-ho am not going to join those people. Thanks, but no thanks. For me is, it doesn’t matter what’s in the food I ate, as long as it tastes great and can fulfill my needs then am cool with it. Because, do you seriously believe that everything that we eat, including those that we have in a fancy restaurant that cost us a fortune, is actually healthy? Come on! And seriously, if we think of these all the time, don’t you think that it’s going to make our life miserable? Besides, this thing was not a new issue anymore. It happens all the time. Correct me if am wrong, but it happened to Colonel Sanders’ KFC before and now it’s McD’s turn.

I know, I know…am not giving anyone a good example here, but my point isn’t about the food. It’s more about the phenomena that people tried to encourage others. Seriously, do you think that all of those people, who eat junk food, McD in particular, didn’t know about the bad things inside those foods? I don’t think so. Of course they knew, or at least they have their assumptions alright, but thing is, they chose to ignore it because they like them! End of story. And those propaganda that everyone shares at the moment won’t change anything. For a while maybe, until those image faded from their mind and thing will be back to normal. Trust me. And as for me, I chose not to open that link above because for me it was one h*ll way of wasting time. Sorry guys, am a freak what can I say? Now Ronnie, where are my free vouchers? Ha ha..

^_^

Don't Tell Your Girlfriend (A Poem)

Don’t tell your girlfriend that I kissed you
It wouldn’t happened if you didn’t kiss me first
Don’t tell your girlfriend that I was there
I wouldn’t be if you didn’t beg me to
Don’t tell your girlfriend that I was in your arms
It wouldn’t happened if you just let me go
Don’t tell your girlfriend that I text you
'Cause I was only replying yours
Don’t tell your girlfriend about my naughty stories
I was only doing what you asked me to
Don’t tell your girlfriend what we did last night
We were only having fun and it was already done
Don’t tell your girlfriend that I spent the night
It wouldn’t happened if you didn’t hide my car keys
Don’t tell your girlfriend that it wasn’t deliberately
We both knew she wasn’t that naïve anyway
Don't tell your girlfriend what I've done to you
'Cause I won't tell my boyfriend either
And don’t tell your girlfriend that I said I love you too
'Cause I was only repeating what you said before

^_^


Am bored and this things came out in my head…nothing serious, and definitely not about certain people!! Enjoy guys…


10 Things I Hate About You - Part. 6 (A Poem)

I hate the way you say my name

With that cynical smile that suited you face perfectly

I hate when you make fun of the way I talk

Never knew that I was that bad

I hate when you checking on my Berry

Hey, I have a right to keep skeletons in my closet, don't I?

I hate when you ask so many questions

It's not that easy to create a story without notice, don't you know?

I hate the way you apologize

How do I say no when you're looking like that?

I hate that you were not a cat person

Does that mean that I can not have you in my house?

I hate the way you call me a drama queen

Even though you admitted that's why you love me at first place

I hate the way you call me a princess

That bitterness that leaves me hopeless

I hate the way you waste your time on the beach

'Cause I never found it fascinating

But the most important thing is, I hate when I have to handed you over

What can I do when reality doesn't go our way?

^_^



To My Holiday In Goa..and oh yeah, for those who have no idea what these all about, big appreciation if you just F-off!!

Good Things Happen To Those Who...

Alright, I have to admit that am bored. Today is Sunday and I don't have nothing to do yet I was too lazy to go out because of this fasting thingy. So what else could I do apart from write? Then yeah, I have a question for you, if you have to complete the words on the title of this blog, how would they sound like? 'Good Things Happen To Those Who...'
Here is the thing, a friend of mine, not a close friend but yeah..I knew her for quite sometime now, told me that she was getting married in a few months time. Of course, this was a great news, if only she hadn't broke up with her boyfriend recently and still cried over it like a couple weeks ago. So yeah, I was like, with who? I didn't even know that she was seeing someone hence the confusion in my head. But as a friend, I have to be happy for her and show her my support, that's my job, right? Even though am not sure about it? She told me that she met the guy just over a week ago through a mutual friend and felt the connection then decided to go on with the married idea. Wow! That's the bravest thing for a girl to do, I have to admit. But as long as she's happy and knew what she was doing, I have nothing else to say.
Then of course, when this morning another friend told me about the wedding cancellation while the preparation was already 80% done, in fact I've just seen the pre-wed photos a couple of days ago, I was in shocked literally. First, of course I feel sorry for my friend. Because, unlike me, she was a type a girl who dedicated her life in searching for a husband. Yeah, she was that kind of a girl who enjoy being marriage so much hence her obsession on getting a man after her previous marriage crumbled was beyond.
But then again, am not going to discuss about that here, instead let's go back to the question I asked above. Obviously, this was a bad thing to be happened to a girl like my friend. I mean, she's a pretty girl, nice, and has a success business. Then what went wrong? A dear friend said that she was rushing it when she made the decision. So, does that mean 'Good things happen to those who wait'?
Here's another thing, when it comes to thing like this, sometime we just do what our feeling told us without any common sense involved. Besides, there's no guarantee that even if we wait, good things will definitely happen. In this case, it might not going to. Oh yeah, when it comes to love issue, it's a jungle out there! So you have to be quick and fast! A wise friend then said, 'Good things happen to those who wait, but they merely leftovers from those who act.' Thanks God I've found mine already so am not into the battle anymore. Hah!
Then another thing happened, a friend just broke his engagement up over the girl's jealousy that drove him mad. Well, as a girl I can see where this coming from. I mean, for girls the look was almost everything. Many times I found my male friends close their eyes over their girlfriends attitude when they look that good. So when your man surrounded by girls like that, you were entitle to be intimidated. But as someone who think like a guy, I can totally understand my friend too. Jealousy suck. I don't get jealous over thing like that, at least I won't bother showing it. I don't normally feel intimidated over anyone. But yeah, this drama made me kind of think, do good things happen to those who look good? I know, am a shallow person, someone said that before and am not going to hide the truth.
^_^

This blog written on Sunday, August 22nd 2010 and the story was about no one..so even though the scenes sound familiar, trust me..it wasn't about you..at all!!

My Love Does Cost A Thing!

I know, even Jennifer Lopez tried to convinced everybody that her love doesn't cost anything, but, was that the truth? A few years ago, a guy who tried to approached me back then asked whether I was a materialistic type of person or not. My answer at that time was, "Depends. Depends on how do you define the word materialistic." I mean, of course, as a girl, I would prefer to be taken care of rather than not. Seriously, if there are two different guys came forward to approach you, one is super cute but yet super broke while the other one is not so much on the looks department but super rich, which one do you fancy? Come on, you have got to give me an honest answer here, and yeah..this question was strictly for girls only. Oh how I love the idea of girls are weak creatures who need to be taken care of. And that actually leave me one question, am I a materialistic type of person or am I just simply a girl who enjoy every aspect of being a girl? Aha!
^_^