Saturday 15 May 2010

The WAGs Club

Do you guys familiar with the newest phenomenon in glitzy world? Do you still remember how Nicole Richie became an household name in the entertainment world as Paris Hilton sidekick, and how Paris Hilton became so famous just for being Paris Hilton, or those Kardasian sisters who were famous for being daughters of someone famous? Well, let me tell you guys, that was so last season! The new thing in the world of fame is the WAGs. For you who haven't got a chance to socialised lately, let me explain to you what the WAGs is stand for. WAGs is an acronym used particularly by the British tabloid press to describe the wives and girlfriends of high-profile football players, originally the England national football team.
So yeah, after the world fed up with Paris and Nicole and the Kardasian sisters, now people hunger of a different type of fame. As you guys know, sports people were already became world best selling names for years, only they were never cheesy or tabloid friendly. For some reasons, sport people were more classy as they are actually work hard for their fame, so no wonder if we gave them a bigger appreciation there. Then came along this new phenomenon which started by all of those footballers who hang out with some superstars and suddenly became an A-list in jetsetting way. As it is still clear in our imagination how David Beckham used to hang out with Tom Cruise, and how their wives now become an instant best friend? I believe in one magazine photo shoot, Victoria even styled the downtown girl Katie and turn her to be a style icon just like her. What a BFF things to do! Hah!
Here is the thing, sports people are considered as one of the highest paid people in the world. For years now, many sportsmen, doesn't matter how they look like, ended up dating all of those supermodels. Do you still remember when footballer Fabian Bartez, the French National Team ex-goalkeeper, used to go out with Linda Evangelista? That was years ago, and just recently, Giselle had a baby with Tom Brady? I mean, in the world of dating famous people, sportsmen are the new rock stars. Just look at Derek Jeter, A-Rod, Lewis Hamilton, and Christiano Ronaldo. Oh well, those all are the names and the looks in sports, so no wonder if all of those girls literally through themselves to them. Yeah, as I said, sportsmen are the new target for all of those '60 minutes of fame' fans. Just look at Tiger Woods and John Terry's cases. Then of course, it was no surprise for me when one time I read on one of those British papers' headline, the MU defender Rio Ferdinand said, "WAGs is a desease," Yeah!
Despite on what the content of the headline was, I can totally understand why he said that. I mean, they even have those kind of Reality Show called 'The WAGs' which show the audiences how the wives and the girlfriends of English footballers living their life. How sick could it be? Who are they? Why people even curious about them? So sickening. I don't know, maybe it was me who is jealous over their collection of Manolos and Louis, or maybe it was me who wished that I could drive that Mercedes instead of Coleen, despite on how Rooney looks like. Hey, even me could be a normal person sometime, so of course, I envy them!
So, my point is, if you are into an instant fame, if you are looking for a quick way to be at the front page of any tabloid, then you do know now how to reach your dream. Yup, just hang out with one of those sportsmen in general or footballers to be exact! Aha, and yeah, you can thank me later for these tips!
^_^

Thursday 13 May 2010

Boys Don't Watch TV With Girls

I want to tell you guys a quite funny story of mine. The previous guy that I was with years ago, once asked me to come over to his hose. As this was supposed to be our first date, I was kind of hesitated as my rule is to meet up in public for any first date. But, because of he was babysitting his sister's kids therefore he couldn't leave the house. So I was like, "What are we going to do in your house anyway?" He answered, "We can watch DVDs or something." Stupidly, I believed him and that was how I ended up with him at first place. Sigh! Then last year when I met a guy who is now became a dear friend of mine, the history repeated itself. It was started on my night out with friends when we went out to a club on one Saturday night celebrated our other friend's wedding. At the club, there was this guy who was kind of flirted with us then introduced himself. Shortly, we exchanged phone numbers and the next day he called. After few brief conversations, he asked me if he can come over to my hotel. I was like, "What for?" And he said, "We can watch TV or something." I was like, "But it's Sunday, there is nothing good on telly in Sunday." He was like, "Then we can find something more interesting to do." Haha...nice! Typical guys! And why this sounds familiar to me? Hah! But no guys, there wasn't any interesting thing happened. Instead, the guy became one of our gang now and I even considered him as a dear friend. Now, what so funny about that? Okay, let me tell you why I said this was so funny. When a guy asked you to come over to his house or when he wanted to come over to yours, what excuse did he use? I mean, when I came over to the first guy I mentioned above house, I was seriously thought that we were going to watch DVDs or something. But I was wrong. Clearly, his real intention wasn't that. So, when the second guy used almost a similar excuse, I of course considered that as something funny. Here is the thing, after those experiences that I had, I now realized that it was just a trick that a guy used to get us, the girls. I mean, seriously, normal guys will never asked girls to watch TV with them. Why? Because they would probably want to watch football games or even 'Jackass' while we want to watch 'The Gossip Girls' or even 'American Idol.' And believe it or not, we (girls) were always win the vote hence normal guys don't find watching TV with girls as something fascinating. Nor watching DVDs. In fact, it was a torture for them when we make them watch that 'How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days' instead of 'Star Wars.' So yeah, my point is, when a guy asked you to watch TV and or DVDs with him, he doesn't mean it literally. There was always something else behind those magic words. And you know what, as for me and the second guy I mentioned above, now that everything was passed us, we often joke about it. I mean, am not a type of girl who is frankly comfortable with the words 'Booty Call' which I have a problem to even say them. For me, it sounds dirty and cheesy. But now, I have a better words to say such thing. Yup..you were right, the words were 'watching TV.' For some reasons, those words sound more acceptable and decent. So guys, do you REALLY want to watch TV with me? Or do you have something else in mind? Hah!
^_^

Monday 10 May 2010

Is Myspace A New Booty Call?


In the movie ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ , there was a scene where Drew Barrymore’s character got a message from someone in this social network site called ‘myspace’ and she showed it to her gay colleagues and they were like, “Oh no, no-no…don’t you know that ‘myspace’ is a new booty call?” I was like, what? Well, here is the thing, I have a myspace account for almost two years now. Just like my other social network account, I was using this site to posted my blog as I really wanted for more people to read my writes therefore I will get more feedback so I can review and revise my writes. So yeah, that was kind of embarrassment to me when I found out about this fact. I mean, now that am thinking back, maybe the film was right. Oh, I didn’t say this just because of the film, though. The film was just reconfirmed my suspicion these whole time. I mean, here is my story. I joined myspace because of a friend of mine suggested me to. And because of, as I said above, my wish of reaching more readers, so yeah, I then signed up for the site.
The first two weeks I registered, I’ve got four marriage’s proposal from all over the world. I was like, huh? I mean, which part of my profile showing that am looking for a man? None, Zip, Nada! I bet none of the person proposed to me saw my profile as it was set for private, so…what the heck? At that time I was confused, hence I deactivated my account as it was kind of creep me out. Come on, how often did you get someone you don’t even know proposing to you? How desperate can you be to do such thing? One of the guy who proposed was an US soldier who served his country in Iraq, as he described himself on his message. Over a sympathy to him, I replied his message as at first he was only saying that he wanted to be friends. Did he? Nope. After I replied his first message then he was like talking nonsense and mention about building ‘OUR’ future together, yup…exactly, he said our! Then he also came out with this crazy idea of leaving his job in the army to come to my country so we can start our business together. Seriously, this was his second message to me, and he was already referred to me and him as a ‘we’. I don’t know, should I laughed at him or pity him?
So yeah, I deactivated my account for a while back then because of this stupidity. But then I was thinking, why bother? I mean, for me, to have more people reading my writes was a blessed. Then why would this silly joke stop it? Over that consideration, I reactivated my account again. Surprise-surprise! Yeah, as you guessed…here comes the proposals all over again. But, after seeing the movie, I was just having a laugh about that. I mean, I never reply to any no more, instead, am having fun by reading them with my friends and joke around about them. Am sorry guys, but it does feel funny to read all of your proposals. Hah!
So, is myspace a new booty call? Maybe. Maybe for some people who has those hectic schedules hence have no time to socialize, they can use this site for searching a date or whatever. But for me, I prefer meeting someone in person and follow the organic process of falling in love naturally. Hey, am a freak, remember?
^_^

Because You Loved Me

If someone ask me who (according to me) is the strongest person in the world, my answer would be a woman in general and a mother in particular. Here is the thing, I woke up this morning didn’t realize that today is a mother’s day until I watched (OMG, please don’t laugh at me) Oprah’s show. As you guys expected, yeah, the show was discussed everything motherly. First, there was this Jenny McCarthy girl who supposed to be someone famous but I don’t really recall until at the end there comes Jim Carey who introduced by Oprah as her boyfriend, then I got it. She wrote this book called ‘Mother Warriors’ that mostly talked about her fights to healed her son from Autism. A breakthrough story, but it doesn’t really impressed me much as she was a famous figure with a help from an A-list actor so whatever she’s done was too good to be in a real life.
Then came this everyday woman name Monica who last year, together with her fiancé Tony, were having a baby girl. During her difficult pregnancy, her doctor warned her about some virus that attacked her body. This was a kind of virus that eats human fleshes and organ, a very dangerous one. But, despite on anything, she continued her pregnancy and told her fiancé to safe the baby instead of her, in case if there is any problem in delivery room. Okay, let’s make it short, she had a baby girl but after delivered the baby she has got to deal with the virus that attacked her. So, the doctor told her that he has to remove almost half of her stomach organs. To make it even worse, she has got to have her two arms and legs amputated. I was like, what the heck? What a woman supposed to do without those things, what a person supposed to do? Surprisingly, with that big heart that she got, she was like, “Ok, do it. Do whatever you need to do to bring me home to my girls.” What a woman! She didn’t even allow herself to have those ‘why me’ moments like normal people would have. All that she had in mind was how to get home to her family and be able to take care her two little girls back again. After two months in hospital and faced thirty seven surgeries, she finally home with her now husband and kids. Yeah, during the recovery and therapy period in the hospital, they got married. Tony, the fiancé, said that he had no doubt nor a second thought about their marriage at all even though she wasn’t exactly the same woman who he purposed to, but inside she still the same person. Oh, so sweet. And maybe it was hard for anyone to believe, but there was not tears whatsoever during their wedding ceremony in her hospital room. That was a kind of love that you will not find easily nowadays.
The story above really inspired me on how strong women could be. Here is the thing, am not a feminist as I was always depends on guy in everything, but I have to admit that women in general, mothers to be exact, are special in many ways. They can be in two places at one time. Women can still do their works at the office while fixing the dinner for tonight. For women, they don’t have to be a mother to have those motherly touch, it was just something that came naturally. I mean, a wife in general, whether in purpose or not, tend to be a mother in a different meaning for a husband. A wife is the one who in charge on housework whether she was a housewife or a business woman. Of course, with all of those privileges that we have got nowadays, a maid is another option to simplify things, but still, women are the decision maker in the house, while men were only care of the final results. I mean, I often heard men were upset because of the partners asked them to stop by at the laundry to pick up, let say, the quilt. They were like, “Do you have any idea what I’ve been dealing with at work all day? And you still want me to stop on the way home for something so lame like that? Why don’t you pick it up yourself?” That was so manly thing. Men don’t know that if women want to tell them the list of what they’ve been dealing with all day long, then the list would be insanely long. Seriously, I still remember when I was a kid, my mom was a working mother who was also busy with her organizations everywhere. I barely see her at home, but, my sister, my brother and I were never been neglected as a child. Somehow, with a full help from maids of course, she managed to put food on the dining table on time and we, her children, growth as happy kids and never even feel like she was never been there for us. I realized how difficult that was now, how hard a job as a woman was. The different between man and woman was shown from the way they deal with daily routine. Woman, for some reasons, can simplify things in life. I knew many women who have a very good career and still maintain to look after their husbands and kids, still maintain to hang out with friends, still maintain to have their time to take care of themselves so that they were always happy. I mean, come on guys, how many times did you hear guys complain about their works? Almost every day. While in the other hand, unless if there is something so bad happened, women tend to keep things for themselves. For some reasons, women are more sensible than men. Hence, statistically, women can deal with stresses better than men.
However, women are also human therefore they made mistakes. This was still from the Oprah’s show thingy, there is a woman name Brenda something who accidentally killed her daughter Cecilia by leaving her in the car and completely forgot about it. By the time someone noticed that there was a three years old girl locked in the car, it was already way too late. In the interview with the police after the incident, Brenda was devastated. She kept on saying, “Am not a good mother, good mothers don’t do that, I want to die.” Now, my question is, what did good mother do anyway? I mean, if your husband is happy, your kids are happy, you put nice clothes on them, you fed them alright, does that makes you a good mother? Because from the image that I got, that was exactly what Brenda does. Only that one morning, when she forced to changed her routine by taking Cecilia to daycare on the way to work that was normally did by her husband who has a dentist appointment that day. Man, I tell you what, sh*t thing happens and it was an honest mistake that she didn’t realized that she got her baby with her as the baby was fallen asleep at the back seat. And besides, how many times does your brain do that auto pilot thingy by telling the other part of you to do something that you were always do in your normal day? Sometime you don’t even acknowledge thing until it’s done, then you were like, “What did I do in my office? I supposed to have a day off today.” I bet it sounds familiar. So yeah, easy for us to say “How could she forgot about her daughter?” But when you were in the same position with Brenda, who has to work every day while she was also a mother and a wife, then you will understand what am I talking about. Am not a real mother yet, but I feel her, I really do.
So, if you ask my opinion about what is the toughest job in the world, then my answer would be being a woman and a mother. That was a full time job that doesn’t tolerate problems. Being a mother, you have got to be there, happy and smiling, just for the sake of your children. Being a woman, you have got to look good, happy, and entertaining, for the sake of your man. Many times we see our social circuit tolerate craps when they done by men just because they are men while if they done by women, then they will like, “How could she do that? She’s a mother for God sake!” But no, am not complaining the society here, because believe it or not, I feel flattered as a woman. Why? Because that means that the society, somehow, admit that women are stronger than men, hence they expect something more from women, something better. Gosh, am so happy that I was born woman! Despite on any boundaries, being a woman is best thing that could happened to someone. And maybe this one is going to hurt men’s ego, but yeah, women are more powerful than them. I mean, can you imagine if men have to deal with their PMS and period every month, the pregnancy, the kids, housework, office works and men at the same time? The world would be at war every day, hah! Then yeah, of course, I dedicate this blog of mine to every woman in the world generally and mothers in particular. Because their loves that make the world like the way it is at the moment. Because of women and mothers. At the end, even though it was kind of surprising for me as it is for you, but I have to admitted that I agree with Jenny McCarthy when she recently wrote a book ‘Mother Warriors’. Yeah, a mother would do everything for her children therefore a mother is a warrior. And when I said mother here, it doesn’t mean literally. You can be a mother for your own kids, for your nieces or nephews, for your adopted children, for your students if you were a teacher, for your childish partners, or even for your pets. Any kind of mothers that women can be, make them warriors. But yeah, you have got to be a mother first, then you will be a warrior automatically. It was just an instinct that women have, a natural feeling to protect and do whatever they think best for their children.
^_^

Bali, May 9th 2010
To every mother in the world, especially my mom…Happy Mother’s Day! Thanks for making me who I am and who am not…am everything I am because you loved me…

Saturday 8 May 2010

From The Scale Of 1 To Clay Aiken, How Gay Are You?

Don’t get me wrong with the title of this blog because am not going to write about gay story here. Not at all. So, sit back and don’t jump into a conclusion about me as an anti-gay person just yet because this one is way different than whatever you think of at this moment.
A couple of months ago, when my friends and I went for a short holiday in Jakarta, we were thinking about introducing a dear friend to another dear friend of us. Both of them are singles and the guy was always asked us to set him up with someone, as he has been single for quite sometime now. So yeah, one night we set him to meet my dear cute friend which a very close friend of mine but not in our sort of gang. Coincidentally, when she picked me up for a dinner date one night, the guy was in our apartment, in our bed to be exact, snuggling with my other dear friend. So yeah, I pulled her into the bedroom to introduced to him. As I knew my dear girl for almost six years now, I can see the shocked in her face seeing him underneath the quilt. Here is the thing, maybe I didn’t mention it yet to you guys, but even though she was a dear friend of mine, we only see each other few times a year as we live in two different cities. So yeah, she might knew how close I was to my gang, but to see it by her own eyes probably was too much for her.
On the way to dinner, I asked her what she thought of the guy. Here was her reaction, first she laughed. But I catch the bitterness in her laugh. Then she was like, “How could you try to set me up with a guy when he was snuggled with other girl in a bed like that? I mean, now the image of him in bed with other girl was the first impression that I could imagine the whole time!” I was like, “ But that was nothing, you knew who the girl is, and we all are friends in there. And yeah, we do share bed but that was different. We don’t have that kind of feeling that a woman and a man have when they share bed. We’re friends and don’t you do the same thing with your friends too?” She then like, “Um…no?”
Now, as I said before, different people have different way on how to deal with life in general and there was nothing wrong about that. Maybe my dear friend doesn’t do whatever we do inside our circle, but that was totally alright. It was only about the matter of choice that you make in life. As simple as that. So yeah, don’t judge us just because we were never have any boundaries when it comes to friendship. For us, friendship doesn’t concern gender, so often we said that everyone in our group is gay. We were never consider that there are actually two opposite sexes in the gang. For us, we all are the same. Maybe for some people this sounds weird but that the way we treat our friendship. I can not see any other way to treat a friend, because to be honest with you, I live in a circle of a very nice friends and we were that closed to each other hence a misunderstanding sometime. Our partners were used to be the ones who objected with our closeness, but, after we explained to them on how we treat our sort of friendship thingy, they forced to accepted it. Of course, there was a time when they were not happy with it, but at the end of the day, they adjusted. Am pretty sure that our partners now were kind of think of themselves as gays too. Yeah, just so they can mingle, hah! So guys, from the scale of 1 to Clay Aiken, how gay are you? Are you gay enough to be one of us?
^_^

Friday 7 May 2010

P.S : I Love You...

If you read my previous blog, then you would ask why aren’t we talk about ‘boyfriend stealer’ now as I promised. But, as I said all the time, I barely said something in serious meaning so why bother talk about it here? I mean, you guys can watch ‘Denise Richards’ show on E! for that, can’t you? Hey, she is an ultimate boyfriend stealer, remember?
Instead, in my blog, let’s talk about something funnier, and this was a true story. My friends, two Aussie guys, went out one night to a club and, as you were expected, met girls over there. After spent some ‘quality times’ together, one of them exchanged phone numbers with one of the girls and decided to stayed in touch. A few days after, their sort of relationship started became pretty intense as they were almost texting each other everyday, few times a day even. For my friend, as a guy, it was pretty much a fun thing to do. Hey, what else could a single guy do if he got sweet messages on phone from a girl apart from replying them? But, in the other had, looked like the girl was started to think it as something special. Like they were having this sort of serious relationship or something. Man, I warned him to be careful as girls usually don’t fall in love just for fun but he was never believe. Until one night, when they were texting each other again, and at the end of her text the girl wrote those magic words : I love you! My friend was like, “Say what???”
So yeah, when my friend then told me what happened and showed me the text, I was laughed my head off then was like , “What did you say to her, dude? Honestly!” He then like, “Nothing! I said nothing!” Seriously, he tried to convince us that he was the victim here rather than anything else. Dude, you failed! Hah!
Okay…now seriously, as a girl, I can understand what the girl been through here. We, the girls, are usually taking thing like this with our feeling, sometime too deep, while in the other hand, guys are more relax and playful about it. When guys said that you are beautiful and he enjoyed your company, doesn’t mean that he loves you or wants you to marry him next week. When guys said something, sometime the meanings are indeed literally. So girls, please be wise and sensible whenever you are in the same situation as the girl I talked about above. Don’t jump into a conclusion just yet, just because some random guy texting you intensively, doesn’t mean that he is actually into you. It took more than just short messages to make a guy loves you. A lot more.
The other thing that you should consider as well before doing something stupid like the girl I mentioned above is you would definitely be a joke for him and his friends. Yeah, whoever the girl was, am so sorry but you were became a joke between us now. I mean, I know it was kind of mean for me as a girl to be involved in this joke but what can I do? I have to admit it that this was indeed very funny. I guess they were right when they said that girls don’t fall in love just for fun. So don’t blame us that now we have a ‘solemn’ words that we were always used whenever we texting each other. As you guessed, yeah…those words were : “I love you” Hah!
^_^

To my dear friends Mas and Cookie...thanks for sharing the story with me, and..."I love you!" haha..

Was It Wrong For Falling In Love?

Do you, like me, agree with the idea that falling in love is actually the best feeling that you ever had in life? Believe it or not, survey proved that people who are often in love will live longer than those who don’t. Why? Because when you were in love, almost every aspect of your body worked properly. Your hear beat works better, your blood pump better, your immune system, your senses, your brain, even your digestive organs work properly. Don’t ask me why, am not the scientist here, but yeah, it happens. No, am not going to preach you guys about all of those facts in my blog. Hey, my writes were never about something scientifically, remember? But, my question is, who own those sweetness and privileges in this world? I mean, does falling in love only belong to singles? So that if you were not available anymore that means that you have to close your eyes whenever your type of opposite sex person passing by? I mean, I won’t be lie here, but sometime when a cute guy went passed me, of course I would notice.
Am I a bad girl? Here is the thing, as a human being, I often confused about this love thing. A couple of months ago, when one of my girlfriends was kind of flirting with someone else behind her partner‘s back, another friend of mine told me to talk to her as I was the closest one to her compare to everyone else in our group. I don’t know about you guys, but for me, there was nothing wrong about that. Am sorry, am not trying to say that am a pro cheaters, but the thing is, who said that falling in love is only belong to singles. I just don’t buy that. Besides, who can control those kind of things, no one. I don’t plan to fall in love since I knew it was kind of unacceptable to do so when you were not singles, but it happens. My dear friend then said that if you were committed yourself to someone then you should aware with the consequential that follows. Well my friend, believe me when I said I do. But I can’t control my feelings, am sorry I just can’t.
Likewise, who would be strong enough to control who they fall for? I mean, when you fall in love, was that your feeling or your common sense that playing a part? Because for me, it was totally my feeling. Therefore, I can never control who I fall for. As an example, if I fall for someone who was not single, who should I blame? I certainly won’t blame myself as I never planned to fall in love to a wrong guy. Besides, who can say exactly which person is right and which one is wrong for you to fall for? Um…no one? Seriously, just because a guy has been taken, does that mean that you were not allow to fall for him? Come on, who made that lame rule? That was so unfair. Well, if you were a mad type of person who willing to do anything to get the person that you fell for, of course that was fair enough. But, am talking about myself. For someone like me and my friends, that was unnecessary. I mean, when we fell for someone in a fun way, then we will keep it simply fun. I mean, not that we will steal them from their girlfriends or anything like that. It was not even in the schemes. Not that we will leave our partner either, but as I said, a fun thing will always be a fun thing. So yeah, when my friend was having fun with that guy that she flirt with, for me, and this was because I knew her very well, that was simply a fun thingy that she played that time. Then I tried to explained it to another friend who, for some reasons, took it seriously, that he had nothing to worry about. That my friend and I were not going to commit an adultery or anything close to that. He was like, “You guys love playing with fire.” I was like, “Yeah, we do. But only because we were made of water so we will never get burn.”
Okay, let me explain my words to you guys. My friends and I were never take anything too serious. I mean, we took our relationship with our partners seriously, of course. But it doesn’t mean that we can’t socialize. We are not those type of people who shut down all of outside world just because we have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. That was so lame and so not us. Often others mistaken our attitude as some of them might said that we were a player, but we were actually not. The thing is, when we decided to be friends with someone, then the last thing that we care is if they are taken or available. Those facts won’t change our intention. So, for anyone who feels threatening because of, we in general and me to be exact, coincidentally were friends with your boyfriend, my wise words for you would be, “Get real!” Because, seriously, even if we’re fall in love to someone else’s boyfriend, so what? Falling in love doesn’t mean that we are going to get the guy, we all are unavailable ourselves, remember? So, don’t worry too much. Just because of we were too hasty on deciding to fall in love with someone, or just because we have so much loves in our hearts, doesn't mean that we're going to steal anyone’s boyfriend here. I mean, how could someone steal such thing, unless if the person allowed us to, that was a different story and we will talk about it in my next blog, hah!
^_^

A Wounded Wife

Remember when I wrote about my friends, a couple who’s been together for more than ten years, and now have to get divorce over a love affair that been done by the wife? Yeah, they are now split up technically but not yet in legal matters. Last week, the husband told me that his ’soon to be’ ex-wife, tried to convinced him that she was sorry and pleaded him not to divorce her as she said that she still love him. She even cried to make it believable. So, of course, he thought (over his naivety) that she is a wounded wife, but, it didn’t change his decision. He is divorcing her.
Last weekend, the guy called, asked me if it’s okay for him to come by because he needed to talk about something. But, unfortunately, I had this fashion show thing going on that night so that I couldn’t have him. Knowing that, sarcastically, he was like, “Oh, that’s fine, I can come over some other time. By the way, if you see my wife tonight in the club, tell her I say ‘Hi’. Am sure she’s out and about already now, while she supposed to be a wounded wife.” I was just laughed. I mean, how was I supposed to reacted to that? The last thing I wanted to do was spilling gasoline to a small fire. Besides, I was in a hurry to go that time, so I was kind of ignored his comment.
But now, after thinking for a while, I realized that he is not being fair here. Here is the thing, different people have different way on how to deal with stuff like this. For example, when I have problems, any kind of problem that drives me to sadness, I locked myself in my room and write. While in the other hand, a dear friend of mine, tend to go out and partying. Does that mean that she is not feeling down with her problems? No, I don’t think so. Does that mean that she’s not a good girl? Just because she went out partying whenever she feels sad? I don’t think so. I mean, what does ‘wounded wife’ supposed to do anyway? Crying over pitying herself? Who has a right to determine what ‘good’ wounded wife does at this time of period? The husband? The social circuit? People who go to church? Or the church itself? I don’t even know.
My point is, in this circumstance, I don’t think there is any exact definition on what ‘wounded wife’ should do or should not do. The thing is, just because you did something awful that driven your marriage to crumbled, doesn’t mean that you were not wounded of that. And just because of you didn’t show the sign of what wounded wife ‘supposed’ to do, doesn’t mean that you were the evil in the relationship. Some people, including me, just never show their feeling. When I said these whole things to my partner, he was like shocked. He thought that I lost the plot by taking her side while she was supposed to be the evil one. But, according to my opinion, just because I understand her, doesn’t mean that am taking her side. For me, am neither on any side in this situation. I mean, I understand why the husband was cynical at this point. Because he was hurting. And maybe he was a sour loser, but it doesn’t make him bad nor good man. It was only the way he deals with his issues. And likewise for the wife. I can understand why she went out partying, if she did, maybe because she is not the type of girl who locked herself in the room whenever she down, unlike myself. And it doesn’t determine who she is. It doesn’t determine whether she was indeed a wounded wife or not.
So yeah, for me, there is no good people nor bad people if it define by the way they deal with issues. No one can judge you just by the way you solve your problems, specially not them who weren’t even inside those things. You have your prerogative rights to make your own decisions regarding your personal life and no one can say that it was a bad or a good one. Because at the end of the day, it was you and not them, who are going to run it.
^_^

When I Miss You (A Poem)

When I miss you, I write a poem
Because for me, you are the rhyme
When I miss you, I sing our song
Repeating those memories when you and I were still in that one way system
When I miss you, I write you a letter
Even though for some reasons, I never manage sending you any
When I miss you, I lay awake and dream about you
The shadow of your image is all over my room now
When I miss you, I close my eyes
Feel your existence right next to me in the dark of the night
When I miss you, I kiss your lips
Those sweet lips that never disappointed me
When I miss you, I just call your name
And I know for sure that you will hear me alright
Because when I miss you, I was always reach for your arms
Allowing you to hold me tight in those manly things and whisper to you
That I miss you, that I love you
That I miss you so much, that I love
you so much..
^_^

To My Holiday In Goa, just because I miss you that much..

Wednesday 5 May 2010

The Brides War

As I told everyone before, I write about almost everything, including this one. Yesterday morning, my day started like normal which having breakfast while watching ‘Market Review’ on telly checking on my stocks hoping that I might sell something in the market today and make some money. But just typical Indonesian television, the program was having a technical problem so they couldn’t give us the ticker tick on stocks prices. So, stuck with some useless news on the market, I started flicking the channels and there was this movie ’The Brides War’ on one of those movie channels that caught my attention. First of all, I love Kate Hudson. For me, she is the funniest girl in the world and seems decent. Second of all, it was Bryan Greenberg. Am so crazy about him since he was in that TV show ‘October Road.' And also, he looks decent. The only problem I got was this actress Anne Hathaway. Seriously, for me, she is so annoying. Specially her big lips, they are that big, I have a problem to just ignore those jokerly look whenever she smiles. But, since she was outnumbered by Kate and Bryan, so I was managed to finished the film.
Here is the thing, the storyline of the movie was so real for me and my dear friend. Of course not exactly the same, but what happened between Kate and Anne’s characters reminded me of what happened recently between me and my best friend. Just like the characters in the movie, we’ve been friends like almost forever, since we were thirteen. Of course, as we were grown up together, we are not always be in harmony all the time. Just like in the movie, actually we’re two different individuals. My best friend is more like Kate’s character and am Anne’s. Yeah, my best friend is the one who has that strong personality while am more like a follower. She was also has that potential to be accused as a mischievous one and I was the tame one. We even joke once said that if there was a bomb exploded in a room and we were the only two people in that room, then everyone would easily pointed their fingers to my friend as a suspect who did the bombing thing and never me. Despite on any evidence. Hah!
Back to my point, just like those two characters in the movie, a month ago we were having a problem. No, I won’t tell you guys what the exact problem was, that would be inappropriate. But, the thing that I want to tell you that, there was a lesson of life that I’ve learned over the movie that resembled my own experience. Because no matter what happened between you and your best friend, deep inside your heart, you knew who your real friend is. When Kate’s character and Anne’s character were having a problem, they were kind of mean to each other, and so did we. When we were having a (sort of) fight, we also can be mean to each other. But, at the end of the day, our heart can not lie, we missed each other deeply. For me, no one can replace my friend’s spot in my heart. Even though I’ve tried to socialized with someone else and tried to make new friends, but still, they were never the same. Besides, for me, all of those problems that we’ve been through, actually allowed us to know each other better. Therefore, we can understand each other even better. So it was kind of lesson of life for us. I mean, even Mick Jagger knew that we can’t always get what we want. So yeah, we adjust. When we decided to be friends with someone, then we have got to take them as they are, right? I think, friendship is even deeper than love relationship. I’ll tell you why, we tend to be more adjustable when it comes to friendship. It was inappropriate for us to change our friends, but for some reason, it was acceptable for us to do it to our partners. I mean, many times I heard someone said, “I knew he was wrong, but he’s my friend,” while if our partners did the same thing, then it would be like, “He can’t do that. He’s my boyfriend!”
So, my point is, friends in general, best friends to be exact, is something special in a truer meaning. Selfishness is not something that we normally do with our friends but with our partners. Sense of owning that often driven to jealousy belong to love relationship, not friendship. With friends, you don’t have to be always at the same page, but at the end of the day you need each other. Friendship is a place where you can be who you are and there was someone in there who will always put up with your crap.
^_^

To all of my dear friends, I don’t have to mention any names here, but you know who you are…I love you with all my heart, you guys rock!

Tuesday 4 May 2010

God Is Gay

That was the first thing that came out from a dear friend of mine’s mouth when he was hitting a rock bottom of his life. Everything in the whole world seemed to came against him, so yeah, he was kind of let down by life. At that time I was not paid attention as I thought he was joking. Until last month, when I had a situation which I won’t call a rock bottom, but yeah, made me down and I decided to ask God for help, my friend was like, “Yeah, go talk to your God if you think that’s the right thing to do, if you think there‘s any God out there. Me, I gave up on Him three months ago when He didn’t answer my pray. He’s gay,” Seriously guys, I really don’t know what to say at that point. I mean, to hear something like that from a dear friend was kind of sadden. I still remember when I was so upset because of my vet asked me to make a decision for my cat euthanasia regarded to his health issue, I came to him and he was the one who prayed for my cat and me. I won’t say that am a religious person, but I do believe in God. Of course, as a normal human being who has so many curiosities in life, I do have a doubt once in a while about this super power thing called ‘God.’ But as my parents and cleric forbid me since I was a kid, I always buried my doubt deep inside me and tried not to mention it as for the people in this country, it might be something taboo to be said.
But, after heard those magic words from my friend, that thing came back again into my mind. Who is God? Where is He when we need him? Why He was always came late just like those police squad in every Hollywood movie? Doesn’t He supposed to be the one who knew everything first? Even way before we did it? I remember when years before I mention to someone that he should thanks God for everything that he got in his life, and he was like, “Why should I? I worked my *ss to get all of these things, why should I thanks someone else and not myself?” At that time, I called him ungrateful human being, but now, as I open my mind, that was something that makes my sense right now. I mean, can you imagine if he didn’t work hard and just prayed to God all the time instead, do you think that he’s going to reach his success like he is now? I don’t think so. God sure has something to do with everything here as He is actually our creator, but I don’t think He is the one who in charge in this game called destiny. We, the human, are in charge on making our own destiny. God, for me, just an element to settle us down so that we, the human, won’t over estimate of ourselves. So we, the human, won’t think that we own this universe because as a human being, it was so easy for us to over valued ourselves once we achieve a certain point. So yeah, there comes an authorized super power that we don’t know and won’t know where He actually came from, what He looks like, and there is no doubt and questions allowed to made regarding His existence.
Therefore, the crucial question need to be answered for me is, “Is there really any God?” Am not an atheist but that question keep on coming into my mind over and over again. No, I still pray to my God whenever am down or need help, but, for some reason sometime I have a doubt, was that necessary? The praying thing, I mean. Because to be honest with you, as my friend I mentioned above said, even though he didn’t pray, sometime the result was the same with whenever he prayed, sometime even better. So, I second him when he had that doubt. But no, I won’t stop praying in the name of God. I was just questioning the essence of doing it if we won’t get anything from it. Someone said to me that if you pray, God will answer only the time is not always accordingly. Because God has His own time and we should follow. Then, my next question would be, what’s so special about that then? I mean, if we need help now, what we’re going to do with the help that we get, let say a week, after? Am sure by the time we get that, we’d probably figured something out anyway. So what’s the point? That makes my next question would be like, if He was barely help us in our time, if we have to follow his time, does that make Him gay? Or we, the human, were asking too much?
^_^

Monday 3 May 2010

Two Is Better Than One (Welcoming Cheech And Chong)

Many things happened in my life that am grateful for, and one of those is when one morning at the beginning of this year I found these two kittens right in front of my garage. Looked like someone dumped them there to starved. I was still mourning of the lost of my Min-Pin the month before and one of the kittens has a broken tail, just like Macallan, my late dog. Over a pity of those little things, I fed them with milk. After finished drank all of the milk I gave them, they were like all over me and followed me home. So there you go, it’ not like I adopted them at that point, but more like they picked me as their new mom. The thing is, am more like a dog person rather than cats. But how could someone say ‘No’ to those blue eyes who looked at you with their innocent faces? Well, I couldn’t.
Anyway, since that moment, my life changed completely. I knew from the beginning that these two little buggars are different than Adam. But first, let me tell you a funny story about their name. I thought they were he and she as I predicted it from their size, so I named them Hansel and Gretel. For some reason, those names sound great in my ears. But when last month I had my vet came to the house to gave them their first vaccination, she told me that my kittens were actually both males. So yeah, Hansel and Gretel suddenly didn’t sound that great anymore and I had to came up with new names. Then I remember that a friend who has two rottweilers named his dogs Cheech and Chong at the beginning but then change the names as he gave up one of his dogs to someone else. Yeah, of course he had to change the name because just like Hansel and Gretel, the names Cheech and Chong have to come together. Knowing that he did that already and my man was also love those names then I named my kittens with those names at the end. Gosh, hope he didn’t find out about this and thought that am a copycat. But dude, I really seriously truly love the names!
Back to my thought above, I have a feeling that these two little things were different with my nice and lovely Adam. Maybe because of they both are males, so they were kind of hyperactive compared to their sister. And Cheech, oh my…he’s a whiner alright. I supposed he was younger than his twin. Chong was more like a leader in between them, and more independent as an individual. He was actually smaller than Cheech but he was a trouble maker and doesn’t really like being picked up and or cuddled. Chong is actually a loner while Cheech is a spoil brat. Then a few weeks ago, I came home to found Chong with a big lump on his back. Of course, as a concern mother, I was worried. But, there he was, jump up all over the place didn’t seem to be bother at all. After a week, finally his lump healed and I felt so relieved with his condition, even though if it didn’t effected him at all but for me it was still broke my heart seeing him with those ugly lump on his back that made him looked like a camel. And my thought at that point was he must had some kind of traumatic experience with whatever happened to him that gave him that lump. But, I was wrong. Totally wrong. A few days ago I came home from work and found him limping with this big swollen leg! What a naughty little buggar! God knows what got in to him now. I was given up worrying him at this level, no point whatsoever. He is going to do whatever he wants to do anyway, no one could stop him. He even started climbing the 2 meters walls surrounding my house already and went to the next door neighbors. One year Adam with me and three years with Frosty, they were always play on the roof but never broke anything. But just last week these two little things went up to the roof followed Adam, and tear up my mosquito’s net alright. Not to mention my speakers cover that they scratched to part, and the vase that they used for play hide and seek, and many more.
No, don’t get me wrong, am not complaining about my kittens here. Because even though they did what they have done, I don’t even have any hatred toward them at all. In fact, they were actually my heroes. Because of them I learned how to be more patient in life. How to care for others as I was never did before. Because of that I love them so much, even though they are cats and not dogs as I was always wanted.
^_^

When A Man Loves A Woman

Nope, this is not about Michael Bolton's song, even though the title is the same, but this is about my confusion on how do you supposed to express your love to your partner in a proper way. In one of Entourage TV series episode, Eric's girlfriend who felt threatening knowing the fact that he was still keep in touch with his ex-girlfriend, asking his permission to give her access to read his e-mails. When Eric told the boys, everyone was like, "No way!" As for me too, that was exactly my reaction. I mean, how insecure are you to low yourself doing such a noisy thing like that? Don't you trust the man you with? Here is the thing, my partner gave me a full access to his e-mail, he even told me whenever he change his password. But unless he asked me to, I was never check on them. Even when he received e-mails from his female friends, he told me and asked me to read them. I know his intention was to show me that he has nothing to hide from me, but I was never interested to read them. Why? First of all because I trust him, but also because of I was never feel any threatening from anything or anyone. I mean, for me, it's not about whether you give each other access to your personal things, but it's more like your commitment to each other. How do you expect your partner to trust you if you have a difficulty trusting them?
Back to the Entourage episode, this thing was triggered by one morning when Eric received a phone call from someone and rushed to shower because he said he has to go for a meeting. While he was in the shower, the noisy girlfriend checked on his mobile and found out that he was talking to someone with a funny name before jumped up of the bed. And she also found out that he was still keep in touch with his ex-girlfriend as she found her texts in his mobile. This things made her go ballistic. But I was like, that was the prize you got for being such a noisy beyotch! Duh!
Now, I was wondering, when a man loves a woman and likewise, does that mean that you should open up all of your personal things to each other? Or, let say it this way, does your partner entitled to access your personal stuffs and there is nothing you can say about that? Don't get me wrong, I don't want to intimidate anyone here by saying that if you are noisy that means you are not cool. Hey, who am I to have any rights judging others coolness? I was just express my confusion. I mean, for me, when you love someone then you should set them free. I think we should rely on each other's commitment in a relationship. Maybe am too naïve or maybe am stupid. But I don't get jealous like normal people, I don't know why, some said that I have an empty hole inside me. Well, actually I do have a jealousy feeling in me but it won't make me go crazy or anything. Besides, if my partner told me about all of the e-mails he received, then why would I waste my time reading them? I have so many interesting things to do in my spare times! Hah!
In the episode of Entourage I was talking earlier, Eric broke up with his girlfriend because of that. If you guys watch the show, then you would know that Eric is the most honest and decent guy in between all of them, so actually the girl has nothing to worry about, in fact, he admit to the boys that he actually wanted this thing to work. But, he decided to ended up his relationship because of her insecurity thing that drive him crazy. And being with someone who has lack of confidence like her really is something uncomfortable. Now back to my point, if your partner give you a full access to their personal stuffs, does that mean that they love you? And if they refuse to do it, does that mean that they don't really love you? Does love define by something so lame like that?
^_^

Can A Man And A Woman Be Friends?

This is hilarious, if you are a guy and already has a girlfriend, can you still be friend with a girl who has a boyfriend too? Yeah, can two non single people with the opposite gender be friends, just friends? Here is the thing, I have more male friends compare to females. And am not single so do most of my friends. So, of course, I found it kind of funny when one of my male friend got into a big problem with his girlfriend because of me. I mean, how did it happen? I can be anything but a threat to anyone. Besides, we barely see each other, but yeah of course..we're friends. At least that what I thought these all time. Maybe am naive or maybe am an ignorant beyotch. But for me, friend is a friend. But then again, I totally understand that different people has different way of thinking. I don't like when people try to make me change the way am thinking as much as I won't try to make others change theirs. So yeah, maybe the best thing is to keep a distance from him so I won't be labeled as a trouble maker by anyone, because am an Aquarian and one of an Aquarian characteristics was a peacemaker..so, world peace? Hah!
Honestly, I feel like am losing something here. Not that we're see each other very often, but for some reasons, I feel like he's a dear friend. So, I will be missing him, for sure. But hey, it's not like the end of the world. Everything is going to be alright. The main thing is am not going to ruined anyone's relationship here. In fact, that the last thing that came to my mind. But, even though I tried so hard to fix everything up, am the outsider here so it's going to be hard for me to convince everyone that I don't mean to do any harm. But I think all of the people that I care, knew. Hey, am not the baddie here! Am more like the mischievous one who could care less about others, someone once ask me was that one of the parts of me being a princess? Hum, could be. But that was me and I love me being me, so I don't think am going to do anything about it. Oh yeah, did I ever mention that am a very stubborn and selfish girl too? So becoming my friends wasn't easy therefore I have only short list of friends. And to lose one of those few was kind of sadden me.
Anyway, back to my question above, can non single people with the opposite gender be friends? Despite of anything? Well, at this point, I came to a conclusion that some of them can and some can't. It depends on how do you deal with every aspect in your life. Maybe am a freak, or maybe my self confidence is way over the top. But yeah, if my man has any female friend, I was never consider them as a threat no matter what. Because I trust myself that big, my self confidence won't let me feel that way. Thanks God for that, because I know how miserable it would be if it happened to me and I have no self confidence to deal with it.
So, at last, I just want to convince everyone once again that am cool and never was a threat for anyone. But I will quit my friendship if it becomes a threat to someone. Sad though, but for everyone's convenience, it must be done. So, this blog is actually a goodbye message to someone who used to be close but now gone, to a very dear friend of mine. Yeah, I will always consider him as a friend, though. Because he was, is, and will always be my friend. For me, friendship doesn't end just because of one of you made a stupid mistake. Because for me, friendship doesn't recognize gender nor status. Because for me, friendship is way beyond those stuffs. And please forgive my ignorant habit, but I never been in the situation of loving someone that deep so I was never afraid of losing anyone in my life. Yeah, am a very selfish girl who never love anyone more than I love myself. So maybe it was my fault for being such a beyotch by ignoring the girlfriend's feeling. Maybe it was just me and my weird way of thinking..I don't know..
^_^