How often have we told ourselves we hate lies? Yet, we do resort to
speaking some amount of lies for various reasons. We lie when it is
convenient for us and it is considered that 'white lies' are basically
harmless if spoken with the right intention. The reasons for why a
person lies could be many - it could be to cover up for something or
even to get out of a situation. However, the problem starts when one
becomes habituated to it. Lies being told for no rhyme or reason can
damage your life to a great extent - professionally and personally as
well. This fact is what am dealing with at the very moment. Imagine a
person lying to make his/her way through without giving it a thought as
to how his/her lying would affect other people around them. That's
exactly what a person like me, a pathological liar does.
Lying is the act of making a false statement. Most people do so out of fear. Pseudologia fantastica, mythomania, or pathological lying
are three of several terms applied by psychiatrists to the behavior of
habitual or compulsive lying. It was first described in the medical
literature in 1891 by Anton Delbrueck. Although it is a controversial
topic, pathological lying has been defined as "falsification entirely
disproportionate to any discernible end in view, may be extensive and
very complicated, and may manifest over a period of years or even a
lifetime. Excessive lying is a common symptom of several mental
illnesses. For instance people who suffer from antisocial personality
disorder use lying to benefit from others. Some individuals with
borderline personality disorder lie for attention by claiming they’ve
been treated poorly. Pathological lying, on the other hand, can be
described as an addiction to lying. It is when an individual
consistently lies for no personal gain. The lies are commonly
transparent and often seem rather pointless. Pathological lying is
considered a mental illness, because it takes over rational judgement
and progresses into the fantasy world and back.
By this point, you
guys might be confused and like, 'What the heck are you talking about?'
Alright, let me clarify what am I talking about here. Over this past
two months I've been dating a great guy but screwed him up badly with my
habitual lies. Yup, am that kind of girl that everyone hated so much
and wished never deal with whatsoever. I don't know when this thing
started but all that I know was I constantly lying to others but I never
meant to hurt them deliberately. I mean, of course, I knew for sure
when I lie it might caused someone to get hurt but I can not help
myself. Am an addict and my addiction is to lie.
I know, you guys
would probably like, 'WTF? Did she just admit it that she has a mental
illness?' Yeah, it was not easy for me to just say this out loud, but I
know it's time for me to come clean and out of the closet where I've
been hiding in for so very long time now. In my case, am pretty sure
that am a Pseudologia Fantastica that came from my Pathological Lying,
where I was so used to lie so it's taking over my life henceforth I
couldn't see which one was a true and which one was not anymore. In some
point, I don't even remember what I just told people like five seconds
ago. Am not a shrink but thanks God for the internet because I can get
so many information from it. So yeah, am analyzing myself in my own
words.
There are many consequences of being a pathological liar.
Due to lack of trust, most pathological liar's relationships and
friendships fail. If the disease continues to progress, lying could
become so severe as to cause legal problems, including but not limited
to fraud. Psychotherapy appears to be one of the only methods to treat a
person suffering from pathological lying. There has been no research
done regarding the use of pharmaceutical medication to treat
pathological liars. Some research suggests that certain people may have
a “predisposition to lying”. Pathological lying is a complex
phenomenon, differing from other mental illnesses. It has many
life-changing consequences for those that have to live with the
illness. Currently, there is not enough research in the area of
pathological lying to guarantee a cure.
Okay, you guys might think
that am crazy to this point by admitting that am having a mental
illness, but NO, guys...am not crazy. In fact, in most of the case in
the world, people who suffer from this disorder are mostly smart or even
genius. Not that am telling you that am a genius, but just so you know
that mental illness or disorder is more like a tame psychological
problem that harm mostly no one physically. Pathological liars - or
"mythomaniacs" - may be suffering from histrionic personality disorder
or narcissistic personality disorder. As for my case, I have found that
pathological liars like myself cannot tell that they are lying; they
actually believe the lie as soon as it comes out of their mouth. We lie
about unimportant things that don't really matter to anyone. This can
be caused by mental defect but isn't always. Many people said that
pathological liars, because they have lied so much that they have lost
all conscientious pangs and are callus to doing wrong of this sort.Well,
that's not always true. I am a pathological liar. Therefore I am the
best person to tell you about pathological liars. Right, pathological
liars lie because they find it too uncomfortable to tell the truth,
much like how an honest person finds it hard to lie. However, we lie
about the most mundane thing sometimes. I even make up stories to win
an argument. Also, most people will tell you that we lose track of our
lies. For me that is not true, I have an excellent memory capacity and
therefore can remember nearly every important lie I've told. I was just
having a trouble on separate them from the reality. Furthermore we have
not lost all conscientious pangs and we are usually not callus. This
person whoever said that was obviously thinking of a sociopath which is
completely different to a pathological liar. We don't lie to advance
our own goals unlike sociopaths, we lie because it feels comfortable
for us. So it's more like a compulsive lie - it is defined as someone
who lies out of habit. Lying is their normal and reflexive way of
responding to questions. Compulsive liars bend the truth about
everything, large and small. For a compulsive liar, telling the truth
is very awkward and uncomfortable while lying feels right. Compulsive
lying is usually thought to develop in early childhood, due to being
placed in an environment where lying was necessary. For the most part,
compulsive liars are not overly manipulative and cunning (unlike
sociopaths), rather they simply lie out of habit - an automatic
response which is hard to break and one that takes its toll on a
relationship.
"The truth that survives is simply the lie that is
pleasantest to believe." the quote from H. L. Mencken was pretty much
told everything I was talking about pathological liars above. True, few
people always want to know the truth or seek it out. But in fact, many
people actively deny the truth until they are forced to deal with it. We
rarely see the world as it really is. Our perception of the world is
biased, our memories betray us, and our true motives can remain hidden.
For better or worse, we constantly convince ourselves of things that are
not true. We kid ourselves about the most basic things in life: Who
we are and what is going on around us.
Oh NO, am not trying to
justify what I've done wrong in my past here, never. As a matter of
fact, this blog I write because of my exhaustion of lying towards
everything in my life. I knew I hurt so many people I loved and loved me
and I knew by this point that I do need help. A professional help, it
is. Don't you guys ever think that we the pathological liars are
actually enjoying our bad habit, NOT at all. But the thing is, we are
not that strong enough to have control on ourselves. Pathological liars
have no remorse when lying. We do not think that it is bad to lie. We do
not worry about the consequences either. We simply lie and go on with
life as if nothing is wrong.
A pathological liar must be handled
carefully if you wish to help the person change this habit. We would
need to be reminded gently about their behavior by pointing out their
little bits of lies. Do not blame us for the lies, as many times, we
are not even aware about what is being said by us. It might need to use
professional help to tackle extreme cases like mine now. I know how
difficult this could be for you normal people out there to digest. I mean, last
night I was with a guy whom I hang out with for a couple of months now
and he was so hurtful when he found out about my lies to him hence he
was so furious. But when he asked me for an explanation, I couldn't give
him any. All that I could say was that I don't know why and no, I can not
control it. I can see the disbelieve expression on his face and the
frustration that he got from that answer. Trust me, I do realize that. I
wished I had a better explanation, but in fact, I didn't. So, somebody
shoot me!
^_^
Sources : Wikipedia, https://wiki.answer.com
Sources : Wikipedia, https://wiki.answer.com
