Tomorrow is the last day of the year and am wondering if anyone of you guys making any resolution for the next year like I normally did. But the thing is, I was never succeed to make them happened. I remembered last year on new year's eve I said to myself that I have to make a big move in the coming year, like for example write a book, as it wasn't a secret anymore that my passion was to become an author. But instead of making it happened, I was having a breakdown that no one would believe. The year of 2010 was the year that I will remember in my entire life. So many things happened drove me to an amazing experience that taught me many values in life.
And now that the year is nearly over, I was like thinking, should I make another resolution for the coming year or should I just continuing pursue my un-achieved dream from this year? Thing is, my turbulence life in 2010 has been giving me a roller coaster ride which even until today still confuse me in seeing which one is real and which one is surreal. I even thought that am having a bipolar disorder at one point. It was the feeling that you have got on rodeo day where everything seemed to come toward you from every direction. So confusing. That is why actually I didn't even try to obtain my resolution as I have trouble myself in realizing all the things that happened in my life. Started when I lost my lovely dog Macallan who had been with me for the past 8 years, then the lost of my 2 cats whom suddenly went missing from my new place, the lost of some great opportunities in business, having accused by someone as a boyfriend stealer, and made some stupid decisions on choosing friends which cost me so many damages. All of those topped with the crumbled of my long term relationship which I thought was going to last forever but turned out it wasn't that special after all. Toward the end of the year things were getting worse and worse when my dear beloved mother had a heart attack. My self consciousness was blaming myself for that as at some point I do believe that she was having it over her stressed concerning me and my problems. I was never going to be able to forgive myself for that. So yeah, 2010 was a tough year for me. Guess God was having fun with me a bit, you know, testing me and my patience? Pushing me to the edge and see how long can I hanging there? And guess what, am still there! How did I do that? I have no idea whatsoever. Even me surprised myself after everything that I had been through, I was still here. Never consider myself as a tough chick after all. Whoa!!
So what is my resolution for the next year? Mm, let me think about it first. I won't say that I hope the coming year will be better than this year because I know for sure that it will be. I mean..come on, what the worst that could happens after all that I had been through? I'd been down there on the rock bottom of disastrous already. I don't think there's anything would topped that. So yeah, if I still have to make a resolution at the end, then let say that I will continue writing and this time I will seriously try my luck on this matter. Hey, am not getting any younger and I might lose my passion someday, so while I still have it, I've got to use it to the max, right? The thing is, either my write wasn't interesting enough to attract people to read them and leaves some comments or people just don't read anymore nowadays, but the fact is I didn't get enough critics to perfection my writes and it kind of worry me, you know..in case if nobody likes my writes kind of thing. An author needs readers because you can not claim yourself as an author if no one reads your works, it's impossible! So yeah, maybe my first goal next year is to gain more and more readers to become my followers first, while of course, continue writing. They said practice makes perfect, remember? Hopefully my dream to become an author will come true in anytime soon. Amen to that.
^_^
To all of my dear friends, happy new year! Life's tough, my friends..but we're tougher..xoxo
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