These past three months were the hardest part of my life. I have been hiding a secret that would change my life forever. It was started one morning of August when I had this funny feeling in my stomach. I couldn't find the right word to describe it, it was just an odd feeling. For a moment there I thought it was because of my stressful job that drove me to an unhealthy lifestyle that cause my stomach crammed. But when I didn't get my period on August, I knew it right away. So yeah, I went to a chemist to bought some test-pack and..voila! The result wasn't a shock for me at all. Of course, am pregnant! Yay!
Now, the next step was telling everyone in my circle about my pregnancy and for sure, it was not an easy thing. But first, to be sure of couse, I went to saw a proper doctor to confirmed everything. Although deep inside my heart I knew for real that I was pregnant, but doctor confirmation was a necessary thingy. Then, of course, as I expected - the doctor confirmed the news. And for the first time I did the sonogram to saw my baby, I was amazed. I mean, like honestly, even though the screen show nothing but a small black dot but I was like speechless. From that moment I knew am going to keep this pregnancy no matter what. After all, this was my little bundle of joy.
As an Indonesian, even though am not into any superstitious thing, but it was a tradition to keep your pregnancy a secret until you passed the first trimester. So yeah, I kept it sealed and, boy oh boy..it was a hard thing to do. I mean, I was super excited but managed to stay calm. Am telling you guys, it was a tortured. Then yeah, when last week I passed my first trimester and my doctor said things are a OK, I can not hold it any longer. I need to shout it out loud and share my joy to the world! Yeah, am so pregnant! Yay!!
Having this little bundle of joy inside me was a major changing for me. I, who used to put myself first upon everything else, suddenly have a different way of thinking. I suddenly don't think of myself anymore. My baby is everything now. And even though I hate my body changing at first but for some reasons I now love my pregnancy shape. Well, I think it was kind of sexy seeing my tits are now transformed into boobs. Ha! Anyway, all that I can say now is I am a proud Momma and will try my everything to see this bundle of joy comes into this world and be in my arms. Six more month to go and am counting every second of them. My last sonogram showed the little one already has shaped like a human. And even though my dear man said it looks like an alien, but for me it is an angel. He or she will always be an angel in my heart, in my soul, and in my mind.
^_^
