Happy Nyepi Day

Today is a Nyepi Day in Bali. Nyepi means quiet in English. Actually Hinduism celebrate their new year today. As for celebration and part of tradition, they celebrate it with four things that they should not do which are not lit any fire, not leaving the house, not doing any work, and not having any entertainment. With all of those, they believe that they will be reborn as new human with new soul.
For non Hinduism who live in Bali, this celebration became a little bit weird. Most of them check themselves in a hotel because of they can not use any electricity at home. Some of them even leave the island to avoid this day. Well, actually you can use electricity, as long as you cover all of the window with dark shades so that the lights that you use inside the house will not get through it. But maybe for some people it is too much to stay at home for twenty four hours, using as small lights as you can and trying not to make any noises.
This year, for the first time in my life in Bali, I have it at home. And until now half day passed, it was not as difficult as I thought. Normally, I always leave the island to avoid this day. I thought it was going to be a torture for me if I stay at home. But surprisingly I was quiet enjoyed it. I still can swim at my back garden, still can watch television even with a very low volume, still can watch movies, and still can use electricity even only with a small amount. And believe it or not, it was nice to have a day just to contemplated yourself.
Most people thought this day going to be a very difficult day, but one thing that they did not know that on this day Bali can reduce its pollutions as much as 30% of its normal pollutions. Just imagine, no factory open on this day, no car on the street, and less electricity. What a beautiful day. And as for the people, staying at home for twenty four hours straight is not so bad. You can start reading all those books that you never read, watch all the movies that you never have time to watch, and how about spending quality times with your family? Sounds boring? Well, just try it. You will know what I am talking about.
^_^

Please Be Suffer With Me

I had a fight with my man last night over a stupid problem. I wanted to spent time with my friends but he wanted me to come home and had dinner with him. Of course, I chose to be with my friends and yeah, so we had an argument. I was so upset about it then out of nowhere I text my sort of ex boyfriend who is still pretty much in touch with me, as a matter of fact, he still hopes that we can be together again. Because of that, I was thinking that he would probably tried his best to cheer me up. Did he?

For the first half an hour yeah, he did. But after a while, he tried to convinced me to leave my man and be with him again. Oh no, he didn’t say that literally, but he said that I should not come home to my man and if I need a place to cooling myself down then his place is welcome for me. Of course, that was not something that I will do but for a split second it did come in to my mind. Thanks God that my common sense was still pretty much taking control.

When I told my ex that I can’t do that, as a man of course he couldn’t take it. No, we didn’t have any argument because I didn’t say anything back to him but yeah, he did say something that hit me badly. He said that I was an ignorant and selfish human being who has no feeling what so ever. Well, that is true though and I never runaway of those facts. But he did say something else that really kind of wake me up and smell the coffee of how bad I am as a human being. Do you really want to know what did he say?

Well, he said that when I feel something hurting me then I want the whole world suffer with me too. Confuse? Me too. Then here is his explanation. He said that I only think of myself and how I am not supposed to be hurt by anyone. When my man wants me to spend time with him but I don’t want to then I won’t do that without thinking of how does he feel about that. I just do whatever I want to do. But when he is upset then we have an argument, I then come to my ex without thinking of his feeling either. Then when my ex try to help me with what he thought as a way out of my problem, I didn’t do that either. I still come back to my man without any consideration of my ex’s feeling. All that I care is just myself and how the whole world should be suffer with me when I do. I was like, OMG am I that bad? Am I a bad person?

So yeah, this morning I woke up with these thoughts in my mind. I couldn’t sleep at all last night thinking of how could I be that person? I really hate myself now.

^_^

10 Things I Hate About You (Part 2)

I hate the way you speak to me

With your so called self esteem that drive me crazy

I hate the way you ask me a favor

More like you’re giving me an order

I hate when you start questioning me

Makes me feel like a guilty party

I hate when you ask me to stay in

Because I have so many reasons to be out there with my friends

I hate when you are showing your jealousy

It’s not like am cheating on you anyway

I hate when you said that you’re understand me

Because the fact is you didn’t

I hate the look in your eyes when you’re angry

So sharp that could harm me badly

I hate the words that came from your mouth when we were arguing

So definite and all that I can do is crying

I hate the way you wipe my tears when it happened

Because it makes me falling for you once again

But the most important thing is I hate myself

For not having a courage to leave you when am supposed to

Bali, March 18^th 2009

Adam Lambert Rocks!

Did you guys watched the final thirteen of American Idol on telly just now? OMG, I was so blown away with Adam Lambert performance when he sang Michael Jackson’s White Or Black with a touch of his rock essences. He was so cool. Not to mention his gothic style of fashion with his pitch black hair, black nail polish, and black mascara. Seriously, he’s hot! And I am normally not into guys with make up, but this one is different. He is extremely hot!
I was watching him since the beginning actually. Even if Simon did not really like him when he saw him on the audition, well, it was not because of he wasn’t good, but Simon thought that he was too theatrical, but I loved him. He was my idol from the start, and this a little bit unusual for me since I was normally got my idol picked up in the middle round since I need to make sure that he is really good first. But this time I picked him up from the start, that is how good he was.
So yeah, for this season of American Idol, I am so into Adam Lambert. He is hot-hot-hot. And guess what, I was just put my black nail polish on, just like him, hah! I don’t care how embarrassed it was to blog about this, but I’ll do it anyway because I am so in love with Adam Lambert. Even my status in Yahoo Messenger and my Blackberry said so!
^_^

Queen of Hearts Charity Dinner

In conjuction with the International Women's Day which celebrated worldwide on March, 8th 2009, Amazone, all female DJ agency, is hosting a Charity Dinner on Thursday, March 12th, 2009 at hu'u Bar Bali and nutmegs Restaurant where the fund collected from the dinner and auctions (holiday packages) will be put towards improving women's education and living standards supported by R.O.L.E Foundation Bali (http://www.rolefoundation.org/)

Amazone, all female DJ agency, is based in Kuala Lumpur Malaysia, represented by DJ Niina, DJ Supercozy, and DJ Danny Fry colaborate with chef Philip Mimbimi as he amalgamates his 4 course menu at Rp 350,000 nett per person. Dinner guests will recieve a complimentary hu'u sangria upon arival (flyer attached).

Will love to see you there to join us in restoring the world for our future generations.

Love,

--dewi**

Days Of Thunder

For this last ten days, I had to put my beemers in the BMW garage here in Bali because of the problem with its radiator. When I took it to the garage ten days ago, the technicians there said it would take them three to four days to fixed it. I was like, okay. I can deal with three or four days without my car all right. So yeah, I left my car in the garage without any question, all I care was my car getting fixed and it’s in a good hands. Is it?
Nope. After waited for three days I didn’t get any news what so ever. So I thought, okay, maybe tomorrow. Is it? Nope. The fourth day, I still didn’t hear anything from them. So of course, I called them and asked what was going on? And guess what, without any doubt, the head of technicians named Jaka said that they discovered more problems with my car and tried to explained it to me which made me even more confused. So I was like, okay just do whatever you need to do with my car and call me for the estimation of how much it’s going to cost me. He was like, okay.
One week passed, still no news from him. And yeah, we are talking about a BMW garage here in Bali. The garage that supposed to have a perfect services considering the car is quite expensive and luxury. But nah, not here. So after waited for one week then I called him to asked about the estimation and he was like, oh sorry, I forgot. Yeah right, and he called himself a head of technicians? Give me a break! Then after a while he finally got back to me and told me that the estimation was about 1,700 bucks. A quite bit of money considering it was only the problem with radiator from the beginning but I don’t care, I need my car so I was like, okay.
The tenth day my car with them, they were still didn’t call me or anything. And this is so ridiculous. I am not a pushy type of girl but at least they can just picked up their phone and told me when can I get my car back, but they didn’t. So yeah, I called them again yesterday and guess what my car was ready, surprised-surprised! But the bad news was their estimation was wrong and I ended up paying them closed to 2,000 bucks but I don’t really bother. I am so happy that I got my car back until I was going to go home from my shop and my car would not even started. And we are not talking about the next day after I got my car back, but this is the same day. It was like three and a half hours after I picked up my car from the garage. This is so annoying and ridiculous! I was just thinking where the h*ll did they get these technicians from? Did they even get any training before? So incompetent!
So yeah, now my car is back in the garage. Well, actually after the garage sent their men last night, my car was back to normal and they said it was just a problem with fuel pump which was a little bit dirty but they couldn‘t cleaned it up last night because they didn‘t have any tools with them. They said that I could take my car home all right last night but I don’t want to take any risk so I sent it back to the garage and told them to make sure that every single pieces with my car is okay then I will have it back. And I don’t know how much will it costs me later but I just want my car to be perfect as it was always be. After all, it’s my baby!
^_^

Happy Birthday, Father!

Dear father,
Today is your birthday and I don’t even know what to give you. I realize how I don’t really know anything about you. I spoke to you on the phone a couple days ago, but that was only a formal conversation. We never even share any joke or laugh together. Your military background makes me a little bit uncomfortable to show you any emotion, since you never did it. You seemed like a cool or even cold person. You never kiss us good night, good morning, or congratulate us when we won anything. Everyone said that you are a very good person, but for me you are just my dad. A person who I should respect and obey. The only childhood memory that I remember about us was when you taught me how to drive a car and on our way home you let me drove and I crashed the car. That was almost twenty years ago but it still stays in my head just like it was on yesterday. Your hectic schedule made us met rarely. And even on holiday you prefer going hunting with your friends rather than stayed at home or went picnic with us. All I know that you are a quiet man. When you spent Idul Fitri holiday in my house last time, even then I could not spoke to you comfortably. I felt like there is a wall between us and I never even try to climb it just to come to you. Never. I don’t know why, but one thing for sure that none of us ever tried. We both feel happy with this condition, so be it.
Well father,
Today is your birthday but I don’t know how to show you how much I love you. I adore you as a man, as a father, as a husband, and as a human being. A lot of people look up to you, so do us, your children. I am very proud of you and I hope that you are proud of me too. So, good morning father. And happy birthday to you!
Bali, March 3rd 2009
To My Beloved Father
^_^

Loving You As A Rainbow

Loving you as enjoying the beauty of a rainbow
For me today you look like a blue
Since today I am pretty much missing you
Loving you as enjoying the beauty of a rainbow
Yesterday you seemed a little bit yellow
Because yesterday you made me mellow
Loving you as enjoying the beauty of a rainbow
I hope tomorrow you are not going to be red
Because that means that you make me mad
Loving you as enjoying the beauty of a rainbow
So everyday you will always be pink
Because everyday I am in love with you, I think
^_^

The Toughest Decision To Make

On Wednesday last week, I have got to went back to Veterinary Clinic for my cat, Frosty. His FUS problem was getting even worse. I found him last week with his pupil as small as a stripe line after refused to eat anything for almost three days. I knew straight away there was something wrong with him so I called his Vet.
Today, I went to visit him at the clinic. He was a little bit better and his pupil back to normal. I felt sorry for him seeing all those I.V and catheter tugged in to his skinny body. And it was really broke my heart when he stood up and tried to walk toward me and my man as he probably thought that we came to picked him up and took him home. Oh…I’m sorry baby, it was not the time yet.
After finished cheer him up a little bit, we went to talked with the Vet and the news that we got made me even more miserable. The Vet asked me and my man to started thinking about the worse scenario. Since this is the sixth times he went back to the clinic so obviously this situation is stressful for him as for us. And because of the caused of the disease is still unsure yet so there is no certain treatment can be done apart from a specific diet that he has to do. But, this was not worked on him either as we tried before. So, the Vet asked us to started thinking about putting him down because we have to think about his uncomfortable situation with his bladder that always makes him dripping all over the place and how difficult for him just to do his pee but could not make it. The Vet said, maybe we have to pull him out of this misery and let him go. Or, the other thing that we can do is to do the operation to cut off his penis and make him became a female cat, but that does not make him stop dripping everywhere either and of course it’s going to make him even more miserable. A transsexual operation? I was like, no way, Jose! Not my baby!
As we went back home, my man tried to convinced me that that was probably the best thing to do considering how hard for us seeing him suffered like today. Maybe we have to let him go to a better place where he can get the cure for his condition. But, how could I? He is my baby! And isn’t it true that they said that cat has nine lives? And if this is his sixth times, he still got three other lives, isn’t he? And honestly, how could you make such a decision like that? Gosh, this is going to be the toughest decision to make for me! Help…anyone?
^_^