Love Is A Mother (A Poem)

Love is a smile
On a wrinkle wise face whenever she sees me
Love is a laughter
No matter how lame the jokes I deliver
Love is an advice
The wise words came out of her mouth
Love is a mode
When she criticized my fashion statement
Love is a perfume
A sweet smell of her aromatherapy candles
Love is a chef
When she cooked all of those lovely meals
Love is a witch doctor
When she cure my fever just by holding me in her arms
Love is a song
The lullaby she sang when I was a baby
Love is a book
A story book children she read to put me in bed
Love is a fairy tale
Where I always be her beautiful princess
Love is an arrow
Shots from her heart just to protect me
Love is the teary eyes
That she hide from me no matter how hard
Love is a gentle touch
An amazing feeling whenever she kisses me
Love is a forgiveness
No matter how bad I treated her
Love is a pray
The blesses she praise every single day

But love is never an anger
And love doesn't recognize temper
Because love is a soothing calmer
Because love is a mother

^_^

Dedicated to the toughest woman in the world, my dear mother...happy birthday, mum!! I love you loooooooooong time!!

If I Was A House (A Poem)

If I was a house
I want to be built on a cliff
On a solid rock faces the ocean
Just listening to the wind..

If I was a house
I want to be built on love
Doesn't have to be big, doesn't have to be fancy
Just have got to be peaceful

If I was a house
I want to be built on sunset
I want to be built under the rain
When the sky is red and the ground is wet

If I was a house
I want to be built where my soul is
I want to be built where my heart is
I want to be built where my mind is

If I was a house
Here where I want to be built
On a solid rock faces the ocean
Just listening..just listening..

Bali, September 9th, 2011

I Don't Know His Last Name

Alright, please tell me if this doesn't sound funny to you guys, because honestly, I found it hilarious. A few months after I broke up with my ex, I met a guy in a bar when my little brother took me out for partying with his friends. The situation was so coincidental. I wasn't in a party mood at that time and there he was, stood by the bar by himself and coincidentally our eyes caught each other and the rest was history. Turned out he was there to meet his friend but found the guy was too busy chasing girls in the club while he wasn't in to it. As we're at a same stage that night, we then made ourselves a sweet bondage and when the night over, we swap phone numbers. Come on, I was in a friendly mood because of the amount of alcohol I consumed and he wasn't that bad after all. In fact, he was kind of decent actually.

The next day he text me like no others asked me out to dinner or something, but of course, I refused. I mean, it's not that I was playing hard to get but I barely knew him and I wasn't sure if I can trust my judgmental skill on guys when I was drunk, so yeah...I'd rather passed the offer. After a while and bunches of texts, I found him quite charming then decided to gave him a shot. He was in a processed of divorcing his wife and am single so what the heck. The most important thing was that we both were not looking for something serious considering our previous relationship so we both agreed to keep it casual. But of course, I tagged my little brother as a bodyguard with me on our first date just in case. And it went well. He turned up to looked exactly like what I thought he looked like which is gorgeous and my drunk judgmental skill on guys was actually good. A-ha!

After two months of dating and texting, he them had to went back home to his country for his divorce thing so we decided to stay in touch through emails. Hate to admit it, but yeah, I did feel a little bit weird as I was so used to wake up to his 'good morning' text and went to bed to his 'good night' text. Yeah, we made an agreement to just texting and no phone call during our dating thing as we both were so determined to keep it super casual. But typical me, after a while, I lost my interest on reading his emails until one day there came a sensationally long email from him that kind of got me as the subject was like, "Need to talk..." Knowing how he normally was, I can feel right away that there was something wrong so I then took time reading it.

OMFG, I wasn't sure how to react to that email of his as he told me what I called an ironically funny story. As he was back to his country to dealt with his divorce, of course, he then met his wife again and went through a super painful process as his wife and him did not sign any prenuptial agreement before their marriage so the thing then went sour. But after went to so many tiring procedures, his wife then changed her mind and asked him to give their marriage a second thought. Not something that he expected to, but hey, this was his wife for seven years we were talking about. Of course, he was obliged to say yes. And like honestly, I can totally understand this. To be honest with you, I found this actually kind of funny in ironically way. Why? Because the way he told me the news was kind of super cute. I mean, he tried so hard to found a right way to say it to me as he didn't want to hurt my feeling. Oh, isn't it sweet? Come on, yes we went out for a dinner once, party at the club once, and quick lunch once but during all of those dating things, we were never alone, was always with my brother as our chaperon. Therefore, I was never considered him as my 'someone special' whatsoever, Yes, we text like everyday when he was in town but that was it. Then for him to even considered my feeling when he decided to gave his marriage a second chance was kind of adorable. Ah...

Wait-wait! Don't get bored just yet! The fun part not even there yet! So yeah, after that last email we decided to went low and I was kind of moved on in this dating department already until out of sudden, a month after,  received this shockingly email from him again. Surprise-surprise! Turned up his second chance marriage was even worse than his first chance so they then came into a conclusion that divorce was actually the best way to do it. So they don't end up killing each other, ha! So yeah, he then officially single again but for him to came back to the island again was still needed a little bit more time as he had to settled everything in first. Then of course, we decided to activated our emails back again, how excited...NOT! As I told you before, I was kind of lost my interest on this emails game already so I didn't bother.

Okay hang on, here was when the funny part came. Over my lost of interest on him after several emails, I then kind of dated someone else who felt like more real at that time than he did. One day when I finally checked on my inbox, I found like more than twenty emails from him asked about my disappearance. But one that caught my attention was his previous one that said, "Need to talk..." on the subject column. I was like, oh no. I mean, I still remember his last email with the same subject was when he told about his wife asking for a second chance. What else can possibly now? Over my curiosity, I read the email and found out that he was actually in the island already and been trying to reached me but failed. He even went to my shop but didn't see me as I wasn't there everyday and he obviously didn't know my schedule. He then asked me to meet him over a breakfast because he really needed to talk. Weird, but knowing our history, my excitement didn't allow me to over think of it. Besides, what the worst that could happens, right?

Wrong. We then met over a breakfast at this Italian cafe belongs to a friend and there where he told me this another ironically funny story. He has this apartment/Boutique Hotel project that he was doing with his friend when we met last year. But because of his personal issue, this project was kind of postponed a while. And now that he was back on track, the project was on the go again. He hired this Italian architect who ripped them off like no others so they fired him. Over a party in a club back home, he met this girl who turned up to be an architect and to be shorten, he than decided to hired her. They end up dating a couple of time but he then found no chemistry whatsoever with her so decided to ended up whatever they had at that time. Sounded so simple, right? Not really. The girl didn't take it easily and went ballistic. She threatening him to not going to finish the project if they were not together. Ha ha! Like seriously, I literally laughed my head off in front of him when he told me the story. Like honestly! How bizarre the situation between him and me was? Seemed like the universe was always find the way to destroy our plans. And we were not even started planning any serious thing yet. So ironically funny!

Once again, we decided to went low for the sake of his project. I mean, I can totally understand his concern as this was not a peanut project. We were talking about millions of dollars here. But of course, we kept on seeing each other over breakfasts as this was the only time that he could escape from the Cruella De Vil. And oh boy, let me tell you something. This sneaky thing was actually kind of turned me on. The adrenalin rush was like no others and the boundary that we set for our casual date before slowly blurred. Just like a teenage boy, one night he even managed to escaped out and met me for a dinner. So challengingly exciting! Even though he had to be back by eleven but we did have so much fun. And honestly, he now looks even more decent in my eyes. He was like amazeball! So yeah, we did cross that tiny line a little bit as he had to leave the country in three days time so we were like, 'Screwed the boundary!"

But as I told you before, the universe was never sleep on us, not even a bit. We agreed to have another date again on the day he was leaving just so we both can say our proper goodbye, but believe it or not, I went to work that morning not knowing that my phone was out of power and I forgot to bring my charger with me. I mean seriously, from the scale of 1 to 10, the score for me to not having my charger with me was like 1. Almost impossible as my phone is literally my life. My ex-boyfriend used to named my mobile as my LSS before. Yup, my Life Supporting System. Totally die without it. So yeah, how odd.

Went home from work that night to more than fifteen texts and a dozen emails from him asking what the heck was wrong as I didn't return his phone call nor that replying his texts and emails. The 'supposed to be' our special date went failed completely and yes I blamed the universe for that. But what make this story even more funny was over my determination of making this thing between us casual, since our first date I never even bother asking his last name. So yeah, I saw the pictures of his family, his dad's horse, and his mom's cat, but no, I don't even know his last name and I just realized it now.

^_^

Last night, I did things I'm not proud of ...

And I got a little crazy ...

Last night, I met a guy on the dance floor and I let him call me baby ...

And I don't even know his last name ...

It started off, "hey cutie where you from" ...

Oh My momma would be so ashamed ...

And then it turned into "oh no, what have I done" ...

(Last Name - Carrie Underwood)

Hijab

As a part of me being a Moslem was always doing fasting during the month of Ramadan. It's a religious thing but towards the end, for me, it's also a tradition. I mean, I did it since I was seven, so it became a habit more than everything else. Rebelliously, I did try to brake this tradition when I just moved out of my parents' and became a resident of Bali which you guys knew acknowledge no such of thing. But sadly, the result was awful. I so devastatingly terrible and couldn't dealt with the guilt. So here I am, facing another month of Ramadan suffering myself with no food nor drinks, no nothing.

At the end of Ramadan, we're the Moslems, have to complete our fasting with this thing called 'Zakat Fitrah'. It's when you have to pay a certain amount of money or make a donation to the needy as a symbol of the reborn of new you as a human being as God did promise that He would have our sins erased if we do our fasting the right way. And what is the right way? Only God knows. Lame indeed, but that's the whole idea of Ramadan at first place. So us, the most perfect God's creatures, can do whatever it takes to win the game and get the prize. Sounds like mambo-jumbo maybe, but when you got indoctrinated about this your whole life, you will end up believing it.

So yeah, this morning I was on the phone with my dearly mother when I asked her to do the 'Zakat Fitrah' for me as I was just moved in to the other part of the island and couldn't located any mosque nearby my new place so I have no idea whatsoever how do I do this properly. As a mother, of course, my mum will take care of it for me. Hey, that what mother is for, isn't it? But there when this motherly speech of her came out. It started with a briefly suggestion from a mother to daughter about what she thinks of the way I lived my life then it became more and more specific when she brought up about my fashion statement. As someone who is old enough to defend myself, of course, I objected. I mean, come on, am not a child anymore. I entitled to to dressed the way I want, don't you think so? Besides, if any of my way of dressing myself up was indeed inappropriate according to God's rule, then it was more like my business with Him rather than with anyone else, right? Bible!

Luckily, as much as how religious she is as a person, my mum is also a democrat.. I can pretty much say everything to her. I mean, not that I can use the 'F' word with her like those Kardashians, but yeah, I can totally speak to my defense to her. I know, most of us were like dressed accordingly during this fasting month, but for me, it really is unnecessary. I mean, I believe that the way we dressed were like among all of those things that can be less effected to the value of our fasting thing. Like seriously, I can easily wear those Moslem gears right now but fail doing my fasting and then what?

To my acknowledgment, fasting is all about you and your Almighty. It's about your sacrificing all of your privileges in life in the name of God and no one, like not even one, can tell how you should do it nor that there is any certain judgment for that whatsoever. Oh well, at least not from your fellow human being, that's for sure. And this was actually what makes fasting so special compares to other religious thingy. The vertical correlation between you and what you believe therefore no one can understand the substantial but yourself. And it definitely does not define by the way you dressed. Like it doesn't.

Back to my point, I aware that many Moslems were changing their fashion statement during this holy month but for what? I mean, like honestly, I don't think that God will be so naive and see this as something more than just a trend. Come on, in God's eyes, I believe that we were more than what we wear. And for my mum to even brought this thing up was like so unacceptable. I mean, I went so far away from home to have my folks judging the way I dressed myself up back again. Ugh, now I realized how I miss the time before this Facebook thingy even exist. Remember those times when your parents can not friends you and stalking you or commenting on whatever you do in your spare times? Do you remember? Exactly!

^_^

Keeping Up With The Kardashians

If anyone questioning who is the most famous family in the entire world at the moment, the answer is probably The Kardashians. I mean, who would deny the fact that this some kind of dysfunctional family was one of the reasons why we glued ourselves to the telly every Tuesday night. This so called modern Brady Bunch was indeed intoxicating. And they were my ultimate guilty pleasure. I know, I know, your guys will probably like laughing at me when you read this. Yeah, it was so lame that I fell for their dramatize lifestyle, but, even though I aware that there was nothing real about their reality show whatsoever, still, I found that they were succeed brought the baby talking back and even trendsetting it. And I love it. Bible!

The Kardashians were all about family. Kris is the family matriarch and her daughters' business manager. She was married to the late Robert Kardashian, best known for being a defense lawyer during the O.J. Simpson murder trial, and had three daughters and one son with him before they divorced in 1990. She later married athlete Bruce Jenner, and has two daughters with him. She owned the now-closed children's boutique, Smooch, in Calabasas, California while Bruce is the 1976 Olympic decathlon champion who married Kris in 1991. 

And there is Kourtney, Kris and Robert's oldest daughter. She co-owns a women's boutique, named D-A-S-H, with her sisters in Calabasas, California, Miami, Florida, and New York City, New York as well as previously co-owning the now-closed Smooch with Kris. She was featured on the reality show Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive. She and her boyfriend Scott have a baby son, Mason Dash Disick.

But the real star of the family is Kimberly. Kim is Kris and Robert's second daughter. She rose to fame in 2007, when a sex tape with her and then-boyfriend Ray J was leaked. She co-owns D-A-S-H and is the producer of an E! reality series, The Spin Crowd. She was a contestant on Dancing with the Stars. She launched her first perfume in 2009 and has endorsement deals with bebe, GNC (which makes QuickTrim) and ShoeDazzle. She recently released a song, "Jam (Turn it Up)", for charity purposes. She is married to New Jersey Nets Basketball Player Kris Humphries. Kim was reported by the New York Post as the highest-paid television reality star in 2010, and was estimated to have been earned $6 million from the show and endorsements for products.

And then comes Khloe. Khloé is Kris and Robert's youngest daughter. She is married to Los Angeles Lakers player Lamar Odom. She co-owns D-A-S-H, was arrested in 2007 for a DUI, and appeared in a nude photo shoot for PETA's "I'd Rather Go Naked than Wear Fur" campaign. She was also a contestant on season 8 of The Celebrity Apprentice. But the youngest and only boy in the Kardashian's Klan is Robert. Rob is Kris and Robert's only son. He graduated from USC business school, and became a model. And then of course, there are Kendall and Kylie Jenner, daughters of Kris and Bruce who became an IT teens and now following their half siblings foot steps in pursuing career in modeling. One thing I like about the show was how the girls in the family rule the entire shows. I mean, as a girl, it was so fun for me to watch the show that so women related. Check out when Kourtney had to moved out from Khloe's house to Kim's and they were carrying those big suitcases down the stairs then Kourtney was like, "Don't you have a bell man or something?" Khloe's answer was like, "Yeah, Robert. The new Bruce," Hah!

Okay, for you guys who haven't watch the show whatsoever, this was probably confusing, but, let me tell you something. I know some of you, the serious kind of people, might think that the show has no value in any category whatsoever - just another entry into the 'fast food' genre of reality programing - lots of calories, non-filling and quickly forgetful, but for me it was entertaining. I mean, I was never take life so serious, so to have something closed to meaningless was fun. A critic once said that here you have another twenty something ungrateful Hollywood raised female woman-child, in another typically ungrateful for celebrity-family with parents who are so self absorbed and ungrateful towards themselves, that you wonder how they can have time left to be ungrateful towards the children under their roof/in their lives. So what keeps me watching? The 15 minute 'clinique' beauty of the twenty something self described "socialite"? The little "naughty-bits" they sneak in of T&A just under the radar of standards and practices? The self-absorption of the parents? The back-talk and snotty attitudes the children are allowed to give to these parents? The unruliness of a blended family? Or just the idea of taking a peek into the life of "folks with celebrity" and then taking a look at your own life and realizing that mom and dad ....maybe aren't SO bad. Yeah.

But the beauty of freedom is that there will always be something for everyone. And in that freedom, you can take a look and decide if it's good or bad. For me, this show is probably indeed  meaningless and unrealistic, but it's entertaining. I know the programs like this are getting to be a standard. There isn't anything warm or exciting about viewing the life of a young woman who's already hit her peak - mentally, educationally, sexually - and is heading downward fast. Or her mother who is allowing it - even if it is only due to her own self-absorption. And a father who couldn't care less because he isn't her father particularly, just another man in a long line of men that the mother has luckily hooked her claws into. And the household siblings - the siblings to whom you have a bet going that they will either run out of the home screaming for real love, acceptance, stability, boundaries - or end up just like their older sibling on a YouTube edited soft porn segment or even worse - a real one. Whatever critics said was, still, I adore this family as they manage to make money selling absolutely riddickidong  story of their life. Two words : Bra Vo!

So, is this entertainment? Depends on you. Maybe it is a train wreck that you may stop to see for a minute or two - but there are so many other train wrecks to see in "reality TV" these days from music television to classic television channels, so why stick with this one? Even if it's only for a minute? Well...maybe to hug mom and dad and thank them that you're not ever going to end up as dull, lifeless, and boring as this family no matter how much money, TV cameras or publicity there is in the world. This shows that fame, money -- the appearance of it or the chasing of it -- isn't all it's cracked up to be, but obviously will crack those who have it. And am definitely one of those who think that this was indeed an entertainment. Am addicted! Bible!

^_^

Independent Or Selfish?

For all the times that I could remember, I was always believe that am an independent woman. As I last time checked on Google, the word 'independent' means 'not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc.; thinking or acting for oneself: an independent thinker'. So yeah, that what I believe and am sticking with it. Until this morning.

Over my insomnia attack, I had trouble sleeping all night long. Even though I tried to forced myself to fell asleep, but this super cute little puppy I have had made herself super comfortable by laying down right across my chest and buried her head right on the bend between my shoulder and my neck, blow her heavy breath straight on to my ear. Yup, not helping at all. Leaving me with no other choice but turning the TV on, for heaven sake, at 5 in the morning!

So yeah, I then decided to watch the most boring program ever on telly. I mean, like ever. Do you want to know what? Okay, if your guess was 'How I Met Your Mother' then you were a super genius person. Yeah, what else can beat five unattractive people trying so hard to deliver a super unfunny joke to win the title for 'The most fail comedy ever'? Exactly, so somebody shoot me!

Okay, back to my super serious topic (yeah, right!) the episode was about Robin, a Canadian news anchor, one of those unattractive people, who has just moved in to New York and has just got a new boyfriend, Mike. As a fresh couple, they decided to join Marshall and Lily (yup, the other two members of the gang) on an Halloween party. Marshall and Lily, of course, dressed up as a happy couple as Marshall was wearing a pirate costume and Lily as his parrot. Oh, how sweet. But as someone who believes that she was an unromantic type of girl, Robin refused to do so and let Mike wearing costume while she didn't. During dinner, Marshall and Lily kept showing their affection on each other by sharing food and even feed each other passionately. Tempted to show his, Mike did the same and offered Robin to tried his food and, of course, she said no. Likewise, when Mike asked her if he could try her 'looked like' super delicious food, she refused it.

OMFG, I was like, 'That was so me!' Like seriously. Am honestly the type of girl who thinks that dressing up as a couple was the lamest thing to do. And I hate it when someone scoop in to my plate hence I never did the same to someone else's plate. Like ever. I mean, even if someone offer me to jump into their food, I would definitely say no. These whole times, I was blaming my OCD thing for that. But now, I was kind of like, 'Wait a minute, maybe it wasn't my OCD thingy, maybe it was just me?' I could be, couldn't it?

After Mike broke up with her that night, Robin was like having this some kind of introspection thing on herself. She finally realized that she was actually a kind of girl who was not in to a commitment whatsoever, yet. She found it hard for her to deal with sharing thingy. Then she tried to resembling herself as a growing up teenager when she chose to play tennis rather Basket Ball as it was so easy for her because in tennis it was only her out there. She even had an issue to do double. OMFG, once again, I was like, 'So did I!' I mean, like super seriously, I also prefer tennis when I was in High School as for me it was also easy to deal with only 'I' then with 'We'. Even now, I prefer to do things by myself. I don't do group activities so much as I was never enjoy it. My ex-boyfriend who was the only one who aware about this as we were like together almost like forever, said that I was an unbelievably selfish human being. Like really? Just because you don't recognize 'We' and only acknowledge 'I', does that mean that you are a selfish human being?

Oh well, I don't know. Those two words are definitely have a tiny line separated them. Anyway, independent or selfish, one thing I've learned this morning was to not ever, like never ever, judge anything until you dived in to it personally. I mean, who would ever thought that the program that I avoid to watch these whole times because of my pre-judge thought that it was like the lamest program on telly would taught me a lesson of life. Hah!

^_^

Everybody Loves Shalome

As everyone has probably knew already, I have this some kind of obsession towards dogs, especially puppies. Living in a house without dog was never an option. So devastated. Then yeah, ever since I lost my dog, Macallan, over a cruelty of some irresponsible people, I dedicated myself to a mission of dog searching. First, of course, I went to pet shops. But unfortunately, seemed like pet shops were not one of my things. Either none of the pups there liked me, or I found myself had no connection with them whatsoever.

Desperate in the need, I then decided to visit Bali Animal Welfare, an animal shelter for cats, dogs, and monkeys that had been abandoned on the street. And there, where I met this cute little black Balinese puppy that changed my perspective in many ways. I mean, my whole life, I was never interested on female pet. Honestly, dealing with myself as a girl was already give me headache all the time, then why would I want to have another one? Hah!

But that was until I saw Shalome. Yup, I named her Shalome and no, I don't know why, but that name came into my head right after I first looked into her eyes. She looked so sweet and shy. A little bit scared, of course, but in a lovely way. Within a second, I fell in love. So yeah, she was my baby ever since.

Okay, okay...I aware that Cesar, the dog whisperer, said to not humanize your animal but in real life it was so hard to not to. I mean, when you're in love with someone so bad, animal or not, I bet you would desperately want to show it to anyone in any way. I know that this was my bad, but when it comes to animal, especially dogs, my obsession was like beyond. I don't know why, but I felt so deeply touched with them rather than with human being. My ex-boyfriend knew about this so well and he used to said that, 'Animals get more loves than I do,' and I used to answer, 'Absolutely,' to that sentence. Hey, maybe that was why we broke up at the end, hah!

But yeah, for the past ten days, my life was never about me, myself, and I anymore. Shalome was always there, right between me and myself. Life was like so full of bliss and I can't even ask for anything else no more. Oh well, except for a new shop. And those House of Harlow's sunglasses. Or that P. Diddy's Unforgivable scents. Okay, among all those material thingy, still, Shalome was like everything to me at the moment. Wake up every morning to her furry body was like forever. I mean, it was like beyond. So unbelievably blessed. And this little pup of mine was stealing everyone's attention no matter we go. Every time I took her to a restaurant for breakfast, or lunch, or dinner, people were like queuing for her cuteness. The loves were all around her and am a super proud momma. Oh my goodness, I need to find a man like super quick! This obsession was beyond tolerable. 

^_^

For those who want to adopt Bali dogs, please do not hesitate to visit Bali Animal Welfare Association website www.bawabali.com for details. 

Big Girls Don't Cry (An Open Letter From A 30 Years Old Me To A 20 Years Old Me)

Dear Dewi,

I don't really know where to start this letter as this might sound unusual to anyone, including you. But yeah, am actually you in ten years time and my purpose sending you this letter was because of my so called desperation on warning you about so many things that happened and effected your life now.

Alright, first let me tell you about someone that you were going to meet in about two years time from your life now and this guy was going to became a key player in your future life and determine who you are in the future. He was a great guy and you were going to love him dearly. But, he was also the one who was going to open your eyes and show you that not everything in life would come to your satisfaction and life was not always about blue sky and a rainbow.

Okay, I can see now that am confusing you a little bit. Let me tell you why did I say what I said above. By the third year you were together with this guy, you would feel like living in a heaven where you can always get everything you want just by snapping your fingers. Everything would be served to you on a silver plate and in a crystal glass. Life was nothing but privilege because you have a guy who love you deeply and treated you like you were the only girl in this whole world.

But my dear, remember when they said that, 'When everything seems to be too perfect and hard to believe, they normally do'? You would face this phrase and proved that it was actually true. It was started with a shocking doctor's diagnose of your guy's infection that turned to a rare case of Myasthenia Gravis. It is a chronic autoimmune neuromuscular disease characterized by varying degrees of weakness of the skeletal (voluntary) muscles of the body. The name myasthenia gravis, which is Latin and Greek in origin, literally means "grave muscle weakness." In English, that means an abnormality in the blood that doesn't have any cure. So yeah, this thing then turned your life and his life upside down. Two of you would experienced a turmoil part of your life that you were never even imagine before. The blue sky suddenly Grey and slowly blacken. The rainbow doesn't show up anymore, not even after the rain. None.

My dearly Dewi,

At this point, I would like to warn you about the frustration that you would deal with for the past four years of your love journey with him. The uprising arguments, the nightmares, the lingering sense of vulnerability, and the frightening of losing someone who you deeply loved. At the end of the day, you were a human being who has limit so when the trigger was pulled, the bomb exploded. As simple as that. Yeah, at this stage, you finally gave up.

Oh no, don't you worry my dear, you were not an easy quitter. No, you're not. Four years was more than enough on giving a shot. So yeah, you have waited long enough and let yourself suffer more than you should do. I know, as a girl who were so used to be so perfect in many ways, the idea of leaving someone who gave you so many happiness in life when he was in his weakest condition was kind of freak you out. I mean, what would people said? What would they think of you? A b*tch? Maybe. But believe me my dear, you have made the best decision so far so don't even bother regret anything.

My dearest,

If that you think is going to be the hardest test in your life, you were wrong. Wait until you were officially became a single girl living by yourself in a so called wild world. You would experienced how your privilege was robbed from you and deal with a real life toughly. So used on having someone next to you to always cleaned up your mess was absolutely harden your life when he was gone. Now my dearest, you have got to learn how to clean up your own mess. And since you were a stubborn little girl who doesn't want to ask for anyone's help then slow down on making one, okay?

'Life is tough but I am tougher', remember that phrase? Yeah, that what you were always said in your heart when everything was going south, and girl listen to me, you keep that in your mind forever. At some point, your nightmares, your vulnerability, and your frightening will fade away with years. The old events, the bad events, will soon became an ancient history that belong to a museum. And you will walk away, keep on walk away. Because my dear, life is moving forward, not backward. And in the end everything is going to be okay. If everything is not okay, just remember, it means that's not the end yet.

I hope you know, I hope you know
that this has nothing to do with you
it's personal, myself and I
we've got some straightenin' out to do
and I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
but I've got to get a move on with my life
its time to be a big girl now
and big girls don't cry

(Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie)

^_^

So Much For A Wonder Woman

This morning was one hell of a starting day for me. I got this big box from my shop laid on the floor of my living room since last night and so this morning, before starting anything, I decided to acted as a wonder woman and lifted it up planned to moved it into my bedroom. You know, just to tidy things up. Ignoring my clumsiness, my super strong muscle managed to lifted it up and carried it away until I reached my bedroom door which, for some reason, decided that it was best time to be stuck. Perfect. Refused to gave up, I just pushed the door with one arm while still holding the box. Hey, am a wonder woman, remember?

Yeah, right. Instead of opening the door, I got my hand hit the door so hard hence my ring finger to be stuck on the door handle...ouch! The pain was like no others, swear to God I was never felt so pain before, not even when I got hit by motorbike. Seriously! Panicking seeing my bloody finger and couldn't find any aid kit around to stop it, I then wrapped my hand with towel and run to the reception. Yeah, what a tragedy to be happened first thing in the morning. Typical. While the guy in the reception opened their aid kit to help me, my vision started to gone. I honestly about that closed to fainted as everyone know probably that I have this super low blood pressure that makes me closed to became a vampire, hah!

So yeah, what a hell of a starting day for me. A few minutes before the drama, I was actually talking to a dear friend which I supposed to meet for a breakfast date and since the meeting point was just around the corner of my place, I was like telling him that I would be there in then minutes and swore to him that I won't be late like I was normally did. Yeah, so much for that too. I was like amazed myself so bad learning that when everything seemed to be perfect, nothing could gone wrong, then the jinx suddenly took over. Always. Bad karma? Maybe. Or was that just a simply clumsiness? I don't know. Could be both.

After this so called tragedy, I went to see my dear friend for a breakfast and ordered myself big cup of tea and put in as much sugar as I could into the cup...yeah, needed it so bad. I was started to see stars all over my head and felt like the world was spinning just like a turn table on the DJ booth. And when I told my dear friend about the incident that caused me late and OMFG! For the first time in my life I finally met someone who carries the same jinx as me. He was like surprised himself too. Here we are, two different people from two different continents, accidentally became friends in the island of no one, found out that we actually have carry the same jinx. So yeah, to be honest with you, am not that sure anymore about the tragedy of my finger. I mean, it could be him rather than me. It could be because of am going to see him then the tragedy happened. Because of his jinx! That's what I believe and am sticking with it, hah!

^_^

Italian Invasion

Okay, I have to admit it to you guys that I have this weird attraction to dirty words. Yeah, my bad...but for some reason, whenever I need to express myself I need to use a strong word which in my dictionary means dirty words. I really don't know what or why but I feel so much relieved after those words came out of my mouth. But funny thing was, this happened to me just recently. Seriously, I used to hate the 'F' word normally but after this super serious conversation with a dear friend who opened my eyes on how this word was actually a good word as it helps us emphasized our feeling about something or someone. Fucking awesome!

But of course, as people here in this country has so many rules about how to speak appropriately, we have got to be careful with every word that came from our mouth. the 'F' word was still considered as something rude and indecent. Then of course, as a decent girl, I tried to avoid this word as much as I could, even though always failed. I mean, come on, how do you fully express yourself when you can not emphasize it with any strong word whatsoever? Totally fail!

Then something happened. As some of you guys knew already, am opening this new shop at a spot called Fashion Point right in the center of Seminyak district. The place owns by this cool Italian hippie which I hang with lately. Between him, his girlfriend, and his nephew, I feel like outsider sometime, especially when they talk their language. Completely lost. But, as someone who has this special talent (and never ashamed to admit it) in linguistic, I spot this 'ma vaffanculo' thing within an instant. First, of course I have got no idea whatsoever the meaning of those words, not at all. Over my curiosity, I asked. And when I found out what the meaning was, I was like, hell yeah! No wonder I caught the word like in an instant. Hah!

Okay, let me tell you why did I say that. First of all, using the 'F' word was so obvious lately. Many people started to feel intimidated with it. I had someone threat to report me and some other guys who were happily using the word during this game called 'Fan Battle' on Facebook. I was like WTF? That was too much for me, really. So yeah, that is why I was so flipping happy to found those words. Just so I can express myself a little bit more open without intimidating others. Ma vaffanculo!! Yee-hah!! 

^_^

10 Items To Die For (My Wish List)

Ballerina with Iconic Vara bow by Salvatore Ferragamo

Ferragamo crocodile sling bag in mustard color

BIING wedges boots by Steve Madden

 

House of Harlow Shades

Brian Atwood Niki Buckled Ankle Boots

Vertu Diamond Mobile Phone

Pattek Philippe Aquanaut Luce Watch

Anything that comes in the blue box

BVLGARI B-Zero1 band ring with diamonds

Diddy Dirty Money's CD

OMFG

Yeah, that was my first reaction this morning when the guy who I barely know apart from he lives in the same apartment building with me, knocked on my door and asked if he can use my phone to call his friend in Australia. As a good neighbor, of course, I let him. Besides, it could’ve been me who is in his position, so yeah. After finished made a phone call, he was like introduced himself once again and was like, “I couldn’t ignored the fact that you were a pretty girl, so can I take you out for lunch?” I was like, “What the F…! Are you freaking serious?”

Okay, let me explain to you which part of this incident that actually bothered me so much. First of all, he came to my apartment to borrow my phone, and over my generosity, I let him making that call to Australia while he can easily goes to any paid phone to do so, but instead of say thank you, he asked me out. Second of all, he looks like he could be a hundred and eighty years old himself. Oh my flipping God, I really admire his gut, ha! But the other thing that bother me even more was when I turned him down and said that am very-very super serious busy, he was like, “What about tomorrow?” Then of course, I said the same thing, it’s not that am lying or anything, but I really do have so many things to do. Guess what, he was like, “Can you think about it first? I’ll comeback tomorrow and ask you again.” Wow! That’s my friend, what I call determination! I’ve got to pay him some credits for that.

Alright, am not going to talk about those boring stories here as I think that was kind of lame topic to discuss in my ‘oh so cool’ blog, so yeah, let me back to the original idea of what I was going to talk about here. If you a guy who, let say in your middle age timeline, would you prefer to date young girl or you prefer to pick someone in your age range? How old is too old? What age differences would make a date an OK according to normal standard? By saying normal standard here, I do mean normal people. Am not talking about Donald Trump, The Hef or Hollywooders here as they were from another planet, so of course, they can date anyone or anything they want, ha!

But, as for regular everyday people like us, how do we work these age gaps between men and women in our day to day life? I mean, a few years back, I met a much way too young guy who asked me out but I turned him down as I was afraid of society punishment if I said yes. I mean, he was like ten years younger than me, but the truth is, I was kind of fell for him in my heart even though my common sense told me to forget about it. So heart broken back then. We didn’t speak for almost a year afterward as he was so upset because of my decision to go with my head over my heart.

Don’t get me wrong, but yeah, you can call me old fashioned or conventional, but to be labeled as a cougar was never proud me at all. I have so many friends dated much younger guy but I was never going to follow their steps whatsoever. But then, there was one thing that actually caught my attention so bad. Why did they have a label for women who dated much younger men while when it happens to be the other way around they were like OK and take that as something cool? Seriously, I really don’t get it. I mean, even though when a much older woman seeing a much younger man, but it was normally the man who made the first move. For some reasons, if a much older woman asked first then she was a cougar, but in the other hand, if a much older man did it, instead of becoming a pervert, then he was a cool guy. How was that happened? Totally confuse.

But as a woman myself, I was actually amazed seeing how guys are so confident with their age and never see them as a boundary. If they like someone they just go for it and never consider anything else while girls were totally the opposite. We were like so obsessed with our age and what the society is going to say if we went out with much younger guys. So not cool. And that’s my friend, what I call lame!

^_^

Was I Good?

Forgive me guys, but I have to write about this as I found it was hilarious when a guy asked a girl, "Was I good?" after their night together. I mean, seriously? How do you expect a girl to react to that question? By saying 'no dude, you were suck!' or just simply lie? Here is the thing and this is a little fact that I found recently, guys were often to be intimidated by their own performance in bed hence their needs for acknowledgment. For some kind of egoist reasons, they want their girls to say out loud how good they were in bed. And that believe it or not, on some guys, determined their self esteem.

Okay, here is another thing, girls are actually need acknowledgments as well but it was for a different reason. Girls, or at least girls in general, were normally want to know whether they were good or not in bed just so they know whether they made their men happy or not while guys want to know it for their self confident. What a selfish thing to do, but after all, that what makes the different between these two opposite sexes, right? Oh well, that is according to Doctor Dewi, ha!

A few years back, I was with a guy who had this slightly problem with his self confident therefore he was like always text me the next day after our sleepover and asked if he was good or not. And let me tell you a funny thing that happened on my first night sleepover at his place. As an OCD girl, it wasn't that easy for me to sleep in someone else's bed, so yeah,even though he was my boyfriend at that time and I often found myself spent the night in anyway, but since that was my first officially sleepover then I was kind of nervous. I had this some kind of anxiety attack. So yeah, when he was out to see his friend who happened to have a birthday party that night at a bar nearby his house, I took a sleeping pill from his drawer and had it. All that I can remember after that was waking up at 3 AM not knowing where am I. So weird and all that I want on that particular moment was my bed and my room but I couldn't find my car keys to get me home and my psycho thought said that it was my boyfriend who hide them. But since I wasn't myself because of the pill and was too tired to argue, so yeah, I just went back to bed instead.

Then of course, I was kind of having a 'huh?' moment when the next day my boyfriend text me and asked if I had a good time last night? Seriously guys, right on that second, I tried so hard to remember everything that happened not even 24 hours ago yet, but failed. I totally lost my time between 9-3 that night. My head was completely blank. But since he was waiting for my answer and I don't want to hurt his ego, so yeah, I lied and said that it was my best night ever. I know, am a bad girl, but as I mentioned above, how do you expect a girl to react to that question? It was kind of tricky question, you know? Wrong answer can cost you your sex life like forever, ha! But yeah, even until now, I still don't remember what happened that night but the guy is still in believing that it was my best night.

Alright, enough about my experience, I don't want to give anyone a wrong perspective about me, but yeah, the fact that guys were often to be intimidated with their performance in bed as they were often determined their ego and proud on it. One thing guys forget is that girls are normally don't really care. I mean, of course we will be happy if our guys performed as a monster in bed, but if they don't then we'll deal with it. Girls are normally tend into canoodling thing. So as long as you remember to kiss and hold us after, we will be more than happy. Seriously, don't you know it already? That was the reason why we fake the orgasm at first place, just so you guys thought that it was so freaking great then we will get kisses and cuddles afterward. Ha!

Okay, let be serious now, my point is actually about how vulnerable guys can be when it comes to bed department compare to girls. I mean, guys were always need girls' approving about their sex performance while girls were wisely knew about it already hence our faking thing just to keep the guys happy. But, my question to all of the girls is, if your guy ask you whether he was good or not in bed while he was indeed terrible, what would be your answer to that? Would you tell him how suck he was or you just simply lie?

^_^

I Swear

Hm, how do I start this? Last night on Facebook, I joined a fans battle during the Blackburn and Manchester United game on English Premiere League where Man United secured the 19th league title triumphed Liverpool's record. For those who don't know, fans battle is an application where every fan can join and send comment during the game. As the title said so, of course, when you send comments to opposite team's fans, you go bananas. Hey, that's the idea, right? To mock other team's fans and Put their spirits down. Then yeah, I don't see anything wrong when everyone including myself were using the prohibit language (if you want to put it that way) to express their excitement. F**k yeah! After all, it's football and no one expected to be polite on the field, doh!

But when the heat was on triggered by Emerton's goal which took Blackburn on the hot spot by leading the game 1 to 0, the comment between sixteen Blackburn fans and two hundreds something Manchester United fans became very intens. This actually, when the rough language came out and for me, to be honest, turned to something fun. But, did everyone has the same feeling with me? Um, not so much. There were few of them felt intimidated with the language we used then tried to warned us. I mean, one of them even threat to report us if we keep using that F word. Wow, qseriously dude? Where did you come from? The Politeness planet? Ha!

Now, here is the thing, for those who claimed themselves as football fans, let me tell you

something here. Football is about excitement and you will not feel the great excitement until you know the great swearing words. Seriously, when one of the player did something that you find was hard to approve, how the heck would you show your feeling? By politely scream? Yeah, right! That is so totally gay. Excuse me people, am not a type of person who swear on daily basis, but, when I watch football and when I drive, I do. I mean, those two activities are the most exciting and intriguing activities for my consideration therefore I need to express my feeling freely. One of my way to do that is by swearing. For example, when I got cut off by some reckless driver on the street, how do you expect me to react to this? By swearing, of course! Once when I was driving with my ex and thing like that happened and I was like, "Where the hell is f**king indicate, you bloody stupid ding dong!" Seriously, my ex was surprised as I was always happened to appear as a very sensible girl to him, until he saw me driving and when we watch football together. I mean, on the game I call the players named such as poof, faggot, b*tch, all of the prohibit words that I can find. Then I will be happy and calm down. So yeah, first my ex was kind of shocked as I was normally picked up on him whenever he swears, but afterward he was like, "You tell them, darling!" Ha!

Back to the battle I mentioned above, these some people who were there to join it were literally complained about the harsh language we used. I was like, knock it off, man! I mean, during an important game like that, the less thing you need to worry about was the language. I mean, who cares if Rooney swear again to the camera, who cares if I said Emerton is a pain in the A, who cares if someone said that Santa Cruz is a poof, who the heck cares? All that we should care about is the game and how to shut the other team fans up. After all, this thing is called fan battle, isn't it? I noticed that most of the fans who kept brought the language thing up were actually girls. Maybe that's why they said that girls and football don't really make a good combination, they're only good for SWAG. Doh!

^_^

My Paul Ropp Experience

A few years back, when I just moved in to Bali, I have no idea whatsoever about Bali local brands. Over a rush last minute shopping with friends on a new year’s eve chaos, we then stranded in this eye catching shop somewhere in Kuta Square. As someone that grown up in a big city such as Jakarta, I was always tended to be brand oriented. Everything has got to be internationally well-known brand. But, since we were in hurry and we were currently in Bali, what choice do we have?

Entering this colorful shop, for some reasons I got this some kind of calmness in mind. The shop was very sophisticated in a Zen meaning. Then when the time to pick our clothes came, first I was a little bit sarcastic. I mean, my first impression was, these designs are way too ethnic for me. I was never considering myself as someone who wears tribal designs ever. So not me, but, since we have no choice so my friends and I eventually took the most simple designs that we could find then tried them on. Voila!

That was my reaction when I put the dress on. The design was indeed ethnic and tribal, but it was fabulous. One thing I noticed that time was how comfortable the dress was and how pretty I looked in it. I mean, never in a million time I would’ve thought that am going to look that great in something ethnic. As a big city girl, my style was used to be boring in black, white, and grey colors. Unlike in the island, we don’t really added color in to our outfits. But that was before I’ve been introduced to Paul Ropp.

Ever since that rush shopping experience which I called “My Paul Ropp Experience”, I now officially in love with this thing called island’s living. As Paul Ropp’s motto “Clothes for People That Want to Be Naked” the designs are really feel that comfort and make you feel so naked. It really brings the 60’s back with its hedonism way of life and bohemian style. As someone who was never considered as an island girl, surprisingly, I am now proud to say that I love this colorful island style and I thank Paul Ropp for that.

I Speak No Americano

It's been more than a week now since the founder and spiritual figurehead for al Qaeda, Osama bin Laden, pronounced dead after he was killed in a firefight with elite American forces on Monday last week, then quickly buried at sea in a stunning finale to a furtive decade on the run. Long believed to be hiding in caves, Osama was tracked down in a costly, custom-built hideout not far from a Pakistani military academy. U.S. helicopters ferrying elite counter-terrorism troops into the compound identified by the CIA as bin Laden's hideout -- and back out again in less than 40 minutes. Osama was shot in the head, officials said, after he and his bodyguards resisted the assault.

"Justice has been done," President Barack Obama said in a dramatic announcement at the White House while a crowd cheered outside and hundreds more gathered at ground zero in Manhattan to celebrate the news. I still remember watching the news on that particular morning and listened to Obama speech saying that the war against terrorists has nothing to do with Moslem as Americans were never having any issue with Islam whatsoever. Islam was never considered as terrorist as Obama emphasized in his statement on that so called glorious day.

Then last weekend on Saturday morning, I was shocked by an early morning headlines on CNN talking about two Imams from Memphis Arabic University had been discharged from their flight for security reason. The incident occurred Friday on an Atlantic Southeast Airlines flight from Tennessee to North Carolina and it involved Masudur Rahman and Mohamed Zaghloul were wearing traditional Muslim dress, CNN affiliate WCNC reported. The two -- who hold high religious positions in the Muslim community -- were headed to North Carolina for a conference on prejudice against Muslims, or Islamaphobia. The meeting is sponsored by the North American Imams Federation. An airline is investigating the removal of two imams from a flight headed to North Carolina, ostensibly because passengers felt uncomfortable with their presence of the pair -- both clad in Islamic attire.

I mean, seriously...this should not happen to anyone in any reason. Especially in a country who claimed themselves as a free country as the United State of America. These two guys went passed security checked, even went through a secondary security, got on the plane but then taxiing out as the authority of the airport who escorted them explained that the pilot the pilot refused to fly with them because passengers were uncomfortable with them. Then the TSA (Transportation Security Administration) pulled them off to re-screened them again just to found that they were no threat whatsoever for the flight. The officials then spent literally more than ten minutes tried to convinced the pilot to let the men back into the plane but he absolutely refused and ultimately took off. The Atlantic Southeast Airlines did not say why the two men were taken off the flight, but said they were given the opportunity to fly on a different flight. I was like, REALLY? Does that solve the problem? Na-ah…I don’t think so.

Now, here is the thing, referred to President Obama speech a week before the incident, he was clearly said that this was not a war against Islam but a war against terrorists. But, one thing the President probably didn’t realize that the prejudice about Islam was there to deal with. Many people, especially Americans, have their own impression whenever they saw people in Moslem attires, for example those two Imams. They had been accused to cause an uncomfortable feeling for other passengers because of their outfits. And that only happened because of their Moslem gears. Seriously, if a monk also joined the flight that day with his Buddhist outfit, trust me, no one would even bother. Am I over sensitive about this religious issue?

Maybe. But ever since 9/11, U.S. Muslims, estimated between six to seven million, have become sensitized to an erosion of their civil rights, with a prevailing belief that America was stigmatizing their faith. And as for me, this incident with two Imams actually remind me to my own experience when I tried to get my American visa a few years back then. As everyone aware that it was a little bit a challenge for a Moslem to get an American visa after the 9/11 incident. As I went to the U.S embassy in Surabaya to applied for mine, the security procedures were beyond believe. Among other applicants, I wasn’t allowed to bring anything apart from the documents I need to apply for my visa. Everything stayed at the security’s counter. And when the guy in the counter refused my application, I was like, yeah…just because am a Moslem, they refused to give me a visa. But of course, my curiosity leaded me to question him what went wrong with my application. He then mentioned a particular document that I failed to showed him. When I explained to him that I actually have the document with me, he then suggested me to re-apply again the next day, which I did, then get my visa smoothly. This thing was actually embarrassing for me, as I was ashamed of myself by jumped into an unreasonable conclusion and accused the guy as a racist when he rejected my application. Turned up it was my fault by not giving him my complete documents. Sigh!

Then what is my point for all of these incidents? That everything is actually inside people’s minds. A poll conducted by Bendixon & Associations and co-sponsored by Amnesty (International) in 2004 found that Arab-Americans were found three times more likely to have experienced racial profiling than the rest of the non-Hispanic white population and that Moslems were more likely to have experienced profiling since 9/11. Nearly half of Arab- and Moslem-Americans said they believe the government is using racial profiling to screen individuals for security purposes. In Georgia a Moslem man said he was barred from a county courtroom Thursday (May 5th) because he refused to remove his Moslem head covering, nearly two years after Georgia's judges voted to allow religious headwear in all state courtrooms. In the United States, 73 percent of young people aged 18 to 29 say Moslems are the most discriminated against. So it doesn’t matter what the President said about the Osama’s death, but the fact was there for people to see. Forgive me if I was misunderstood of the whole things. Maybe my English was not that good as I no speak Americano. But shortly after the news on Osama Bin Laden's death was announced inflammatory graffiti was spray-painted on a mosque in downtown Portland as an act of "hate and bias." The graffiti included comments like "Go Home" and "Osama Today Islam Tomorrow." Please, explain that Mr. President?

^_^

Life Unexpected (An Ode About Osama Bin Laden)

Alrighty people, yesterday was officially a day of celebration for all of the people in the USA after their troops somewhere near Islamabad Pakistan claimed that they had killed the number one most wanted man in the world, Osama Bin Laden. For those who don't know who this mas is, allow me to introduce you to the international face of terrorism itself..yup, Osama was indeed accused to be the man behind almost every terror attack all over the world and the worst and most shocking one was the 9/11 attack which killed almost three thousand people when the hijacked planes crashed the WTC buildings in the center of New York City of the USA. The American government targeted him ever since and determined to demolish him from the world. It was said loud and clear in the operation last week that they wanted Osama to be killed, dead. For almost a decade now they had been dedicated their mission to locate and destroy this 'supposed to be' most dangerous human being ever alive and now that they succeed, for sure, it was definitely worth a celebration..for them.

As much as I don't like tragic news, I couldn't resisted this sort of great yet ironic thing as every TV station aired it all day long, even until now. I actually first noticed about this from Facebook when sometime yesterday morning, a friend posted the news on his wall and I was like, "Yeah, yeah..here we go again!" Now, don't get me wrong because of my sarcasm just yet. I have so many reasons to be so as the news about his death were actually came out few times on the news before yet none of them were true. In fact, after the news aired, Osama was always released his home videos showed how alive and healthy he was. Seemed like he was trying to make fun of the US government with those videos, and of course, this thing built even more hatred in the heart of the Americans. Then for sure, it was no surprise whatsoever if his 'truly' death which confirmed with DNA test result caused an euphoria within not just American people but also most of the people around the world. Everyone is celebrating. Ironic in a different kind of meaning indeed. I mean, seriously..what kind of man whose his death caused people dancing, popped a bottle of champagne, gather on the street and singing, a President of a super power country called for an immediate press conference, and even an army disposing his body in the ocean as they afraid of the unexpected effect that might happens on his graveyard. Man oh man, even after his death he was still considered as a dangerous monster. 

Now, the big question is, knowing that the leader of the biggest terrorist organization that people fear of was officially kaput, does that mean that our world is now safe or even riskier? Does Al-Qaeda, which they said the name was, die too together with its leader? As most of us know that the 'so called' notorious terrorist Osama came from respected self-made billionaire Arab family who most of the time funded the terror attacks from his own pocket money and called it as a Jihad. Correct me if am wrong, but as a Moslem myself, I aware that Jihad in Arabic means holy war. But was it a holy war itself? That's my friend, am not so sure. Besides, who am I to decide? One thing for me was, killing so many innocent people was not how our prophet Mohammad did it. At least that what I believed and am stick with it. But yeah, am not a fanatic nor practicing orthodox Islam as Osama did.

Here is the thing, I was never followed the news about Osama myself as I don't really watch the news that often. Most of the time I flick the channel to something light to watch whenever serious issue came on the screen, I prefer to not know it. I mean, it was cool to know what happened, but no detail please. I just don't think it was my concern to be informed that Qaddafi's son got killed last week and now it's Osama's turn. Too devastating in ironically meaning. But one think upsetting me about what happened yesterday was because of the May Day issue forced me to stayed away from the market and by becoming the last person to know about this Osama's thing which of course affected the market in a good way cost me an opportunities lost in the market. Big time! Sigh!

^_^

Love, Actually.. (A Poem)

Some say love is blind
Some say it isn't
Some say love hurts
Some say it doesn't
Some say love just an urban legend
Passed from generation to generation
Some say love is a fairy tale
A bedtime story that never exist
Some say love is beautiful
The only thing that put smile on your face
Some say love is unconditional
It brakes a wall between strangers
Some say love is blue
Some say it's yellow
Some say love is purple
Some say it's grey
Some say love is a holly grail
Some say love belongs to the one who believes
Some say love is ultimate
Some say love is compromise
But I say love is not a sacred
I say love is not always pink
I say love is something fun
I say love can sometime be black

^_^