I Love You Just The Way You Are

Don’t go trying some new fashions
Don’t change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passions
I love you just the way you are
(I Love You Just The Way You Are - Billy Joel)

One of my girlfriends talking about getting a boobs job and her husband tried to stop her from doing it because he said he love her just the way she is. I was nearly choked of laughed when I heard that. Come on man, you really think that we are going to stop doing something that we wanted just because you said that? Not in a million times! What about our own opinion? Our own standard? Our own desire? Oh yes, we do have them all. And believe it or not, everything is not always about you, guys.
Couple weeks ago, I was feeling heavier than normal so I decided to loose a couple pounds of my weight. And my beloved man said that I did not need to since he thought I was perfect the way I was and he loves me just the way I am. Well, thank you Darling, but did it stop me from doing my diet? Nope. I have my own standard of looking good and when I want to look good, it is not because I want to look good for him, but it is for my own self. That simple.
Why it’s so hard for guys to believe that we (read : girls) also have our own desire. Is that because of men’s ego makes them thinking that everything we have done in our life has got to be something that connect to them? Well, guess what guys, so not true. When we said we want to fix a little thing that we don’t like about our self, doesn’t mean that we want to look perfect for our partner or any other guys, but we do it for our self. So this ’I Love You Just The Way You Are’ things doesn’t really works for us (sorry Billy!). We do love you guys, but everything is not always about you.
^_^

Missing You

Since you have been gone
Gone, Baby, gone
Living me here all alone
The cold of the night froze me to the bone
Where is my sweetest goodbye
The kiss that I never even get
The comfort when I am lie
In your arms and listen to your heart beat
Where is the love that you promised
The flirt that I missed
The look that I really adore
Where are they now?
All of your sweet talks make me fly
Make me want to be there, just be there
Even if I don’t really know where is it
But thinking of you is making me cry
Hush-hush, Baby
That is what you always say
When I am down with my tears
You always there to cheer
So, where are you now? Where are you, my love?
When I need you the most
I am looking for your strong arms to hold
Because that is what I miss a lot

Searching God

If someone ask you who creates you, I bet your answer is God. But are you really, truly believe that? Don’t you ever have any doubt about it? Have you ever questioning if God is real? Or he was just a doctrine that people before us created and put it inside our head?
To be honest, this question already in my head since long-long time ago. I was lucky that my parents put a very good religious foundation that makes me doing all things that I should do in my religion, such as praying, fasting, helping the poor, and so on. But it does not make me stop thinking about the reality of God. If our parents before us did not sent us to the Sunday School to learn about our religion, if they just let us growth without any doctrine about who God is, do we still believe in Him? Do we still think that God all mighty was indeed the one who created us? I doubt it.
So many questions in my head that could not be answer by my religion, or maybe even yours. But in my religion, there was a phrase ‘I hear it and I believe it’ when it comes to religious kind of things. So, every time I look for an answer, I am really afraid that God probably won’t feel happy about it and he will punish me because of that. As someone who had been doctrines about what is God capable of, it is really scares me.
Even if those question were already in my head and probably going to stay there for the rest of my life, but I am not going to change my believe to Kabala or Scientologist like all those Hollywood actresses doing, I was just looking for answers. Who is God? Is he real? Did he really created all of these? The world, the sky, the air, the water, the plants, the animals, the humans, all of these are his creature? Anyone could help me here? Anyone? No one? I thought so..
^_^

Only In Bali

If someone asked me what is the best place to live in Indonesia, even in the world, the answer is Bali. This Island of Gods is known as one of the best holiday destination in the world. So, don’t blame the people if the atmosphere here feels like holiday everyday. You will not see anyone walks in hurry as seems like they are racing with their time. Nope, ain’t gonna happen here, bro!
People in Bali live in their own different world. Every single person is a friend. Everybody says hello to everyone together their big smiley face. You will not feel any threat or that kind of scary feeling that you have if you go on holiday only by yourself. Nope, ain’t gonna happen here, sista!
Only in Bali, you can go to work wearing your favorite sunny dress, or tank-top, or shorts and flip-flop. Only in Bali, you girls can walk on the street at three o’clock in the morning, drunk as a skunk, looking for an early breakfast without feeling any danger. Only in Bali, you can go out at night seven days a week, like everyday is a weekend day. Only in Bali you can ride your motorbike without any helmet on, just put on your religious outfit as when you go for pray, and the police won’t stop you. Only in Bali you can having a cigarette and sending a text message while riding your motorbike. Only in Bali you can see Balinese offerings on the stage at Rock n Roll concerts with Priests doing prayers for a successful gig. Only in Bali you can wear bikini daytime, nighttime, anytime. Only in Bali you can go shopping in a nice fancy boutique and haggle for a lower price without feeling embarrassed. And I can go on and on for another hundreds ‘only in Bali’ if you want me to.
I live in Bali for more than eight years now and I do not have a plan to move out from this island anytime soon. Why should I? I love to live in this arty-f**ty little place. Since most of the people here are artists, they never work in such kind of tension like in other places. They go to work when they feel like they want to and stay at home if they don’t feel like they want to. So, being not on time is not something that you should avoid of in Bali. And that is a benefit for someone who always late, like myself. Gosh, I love my island!
^_^

The Secret

Oh no, no-no. I am not talking about the book that all people around the world talking about. This is a different story. I am literally going to talk about something that people keep inside their closet. Something that people will not share with others. Even to their own partners.
Every bodies have skeleton in their closet, someone said that to me before. And I am totally agree. Even it is a tiny-winy bit, but it still a secret. I can not believe if there is anybody in this world that has no secret. My question is, if you keep something behind closed door, if you are not telling anybody about something, if you keep something only to yourself, then are you a liar?
In Oxford’s English dictionary, a liar is a person who tells lies. So, literally, if you are not telling anything then you are not a liar. But what happened when it comes to your love life? Does it make you a liar if you keep something secret from your partner?
My ex-boyfriend still contact me by phone just for a chit-chat and I never tell my man about this. Does that makes me a liar? I hit a tree when I tried to parked my car last week, since the damage was almost nothing, I didn’t tell my man about that. Am I a liar? My best friend was drunk as a skunk when we had girls night out party a couple weeks ago and she didn’t tell her husband about that. Is she a liar?
A liar or not, that doesn’t really matter. Still, everyone has a right to make a choice weather he or she want to share their secrets with someone or not. Even they are their own partners. As for me, if you said you chose not to lie to your partners, that is very good of you. But if you said you can not lie to your partners, that is stupid. Because everyone can lie to anyone, it is only about making a choice.
^_^

Would It Make You Love Me?

If you think I am talking about Robin Thicke’s track, you can be proud of yourself. Because it is absolutely true. The track hit my feeling directly. All my life now, people thought that I am different. Just because I never mind with variety. Confused? When I was a kid, my best friend was a Chinese girl. When everybody isolated her, I was there to be with her. In my teenage life, my best friend was a Christian girl who is still my best buddy now. And I am a proud Muslim.
Back to the track, Mr. Thicke telling about his own feeling when he marry an African American girl who was his high school sweetheart (oh…) Some people still see that as something that you should not do. But, globally, Mr. Thicke was talking about what happen in the whole wide world. Why we so bother with our differences? What about seeing people as human being. We all the same in God’s eyes. We all just humans. Nothing less, nothing more. No one better than others just because their skin color, or their religion, or their race.
We are living in a global world. We can not just hang out with our own. We can not control our self to not falling in love with people from different religion with us. We can not isolated our self from the whole world.
So, if I was one of you, if I change my religion, if I have the same color with you, would it make you love me?
^_^

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

I can’t believe I said this out loud, but I am an OCD person. For some people who don’t know what OCD means, then I will explain it to you all. OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Yup, it is a disorder like an abnormality. When you got this abnormality then you would be obsessed with something. Different people has different symptoms.
As for me, I am obsessed with putting everything in symmetrical way. All the rugs in my house have to be symmetrical, as for the furniture and everything else. And this is not something that I can control. One day I came home and saw an empty gallon of water, I knew that someone must have changed the water gallon since the old one was finished. For normal people, the story was ended right there. But not for me. I couldn't’t stop thinking about how did they put the new gallon on. Did they put the label faced forward or backward. Back in my mind I knew that was not supposed to matter at all. But for me, it was. There was a tiny voice inside me kept on asking me to checked it. And it won’t stop until I done it.
Another symptoms I got is an over worried of germs. I always feel that everything out there is dirty and full of germs. I wash my hand all the time after I touch something, and we are talking about more than twenty times a day. I can’t bear touching a public toilet’s door handle. I always have tissue or napkin to cover my palm. I always clean the toilet seats before I use them, I clean them with hygienic liquid, and still, I use tissues to cover the seats before I sat on them. I never touch the flush handle without cover my palm with tissue. Is that sounds weird to you? Wait until you hear this. I can’t wear any blue outfit if I am not wearing blue underneath and I can’t go to bed until I check all the doors in my house. All the keys have to be on the table where I used to put them, otherwise I won’t be able to sleep. You can call me a weirdo, but that is really something that I can not control.
Telling this does not mean that I am complaining about myself. Not at all. I knew this disorder can be cure with psychiatrist helps, but I don’t think it is necessary for me. I am happy for who I am and to be honest, I got used to this disorder. None of those symptoms gave me any trouble after all. And if I got cured, I probably won’t feel like myself anymore. So, why bother?
^_^

It's Vegas, Baby!

If someone asks me what is my favorite holiday destination, the answer is definitely Las Vegas. When people said it’s a sin city, it is absolutely correct! When we told the cab driver who took us from the airport to the MGM Grand Hotel and Casino that we are going to spent ten days there, he was literally shocked. He said, nobody ever spent that kind of long time there, unless if you are a professional gambler. People normally only spend two to three days and get out of that city as soon as possible. There were too many temptations there. And I don’t know where to began this story to you guys.
Okay, let start with the casinos. After all, that is what we are looking for when we were in Las Vegas, right? Even McDonald’s restaurants have a slot machines here. Vegas is the biggest casinos place in the world. And they called it the city that never sleep. Oh yes, at night time you will be blinded by heavy lights that come from all the hotels and buildings. So beautiful. I’ve been to casinos in Macau, Genting, and Melbourne, and none of this places has a casino as good as Las Vegas. And you know what? You really could win something in Vegas. I never trust my luck on gambling. But in Vegas, I won almost five hundred bucks on slot machines. And for me, that was amazing. My man also won quite a lot on black jack tables. We even got six days compliment for our hotel room. Oh well, we should though, considered how much money we spent. But honestly, the casinos in Vegas are the best!
Now, the attractions and nightlife. While you were in Vegas, you have to go to any attractions that they have in almost every hotels. As for us, we went to Cirque O’Soile at Bellagio Hotel and Casino. And that was unbelievable! The stage, the players, the crowds, I’m telling you for the first time you won’t be complained about spending that kind of money for one show. We also had Tournament of The King dinner which was nothing special, but who’s care? This is Vegas, everything looks amazing in here. And I won’t forget about the Pussycats Dolls’ show at Pure night club in Cesar Palace. Gosh, they all so sexy and that words came from me, a girl, would you believe it? Yup, only in Vegas you can go out and enjoy a stripper or Chippendale show with your spouse. And if you were lucky enough like us, you can catch one of those Auto Show, they always has it there.
Did you know that Las Vegas is actually a desert? To watering the city, they actually build a dam called Hoover Dam, I think it was came from the name of their mayor at the time when they building the dam. They were literally split off a mountain in to two so that sea water can went through to the city. Only God knew how many people dead when they build it. And I could not described how amazing the dam was. I was speechless.
As a woman, I won’t forget about shopping. My favorite was Fashion Show Mall at the end of Vegas Strip. At the time when I was there, the mall was still under renovation, but still, I enjoyed shopping there. If you fancy some expensive stuffs, you can go to one of those hotel’s Arcade that selling many designer and branded stuffs (I told you there were a lot of temptations here, aren’t I?) And don’t forget all those small shops on Vegas Boulevard, they sells any kind of Las Vegas Merchandise such as Marilyn Monroe’s bags, Fridge’s stickers, and stuffs.
So, if you ask how much money we spent in Vegas? Plenty. But, are we coming back again? Definitely. Who’s care about the money. After all, it’s Vegas, Baby!
^_^